Hey there, I'm badass boss bitch Neville Medhora and I'm a life coach! I want to show YOU how to Life Coach, so you can teach other Life Coaches how to coach better! Before we start let's pray together to our inner light goddess: I want to teach you the 6 main steps to becoming a successful Life Coach.  This post will take about 4 minutes to read, so grab your divinity crystals, spritz some essential oils in the air, and let's learn how to become a Life Coach step-by-step!    

Step 1.) Be authentic as FUCK.

You can't be a life coach without being hella authentic. Being true to your students means being true to yourself. How can you be true to yourself, without being.....authentic?!? The main way to be "authentic" is by taking a bunch of random pictures of yourself and writing "authentic" phrases on them. This will prove that you're super authentic, like this:

(Goddamn that's so authentic looking)!

The best part about telling people to be "authentic" is that it doesn't mean anything! It's just a Philosophy 101 phrase that people use to sound smart. It's also a way to make people always question if they're being authentic enough. You WANT your followers to always question their authenticity, that way when they're NOT being "authentic enough" they schedule a consultation with you! So always make sure your followers are questioning themselves like this:

#authentic  #blessed  #AmIBeingAuthentic?

Now the real truth about authenticity is this: If you feel "you're not being authentic to yourself" then you're either bored or unhappy in some part of your life. It's either one of three areas: Your Health, Wealth, or Love. It's that simple. But even though we know it's that simple, no one is going to pay our life coaching fee if they know the truth!!! That's why we as Life Coaches have to continually tell our students "they're not being authentic" so they hire us ;-)      

Step 2.) It helps to have a "stereotypical guru trait."

If you're going to be a successful life coach and you don't have some extraordinary success (like selling a company) under your belt already, it's best to start off by having a "look" that can be called a "stereotypical guru trait." This means you need to LOOK like a Life Coach.  For example, you can instantly tell which of these is a doctor by their "stereotypical doctor trait" (which is just a white coat and stethoscope): Just like the outfit and accessories tell us which one of these men is the doctor, we need to make sure people think we're a "guru" by establishing our own "Stereotypical Guru Traits!!" Here's how you can do it yourself:    

STEREOTYPICAL GURU TRAIT #1: Try to look super Indian-ish.

People in Western world usually view any Indian stuff as hella "spiritual" so use that to your advantage.  I'm an Indian kid that was born in the USA and grew up in the suburbs of Houston, Texas.....but if I throw some Indian shit on I look way more trustworthy to dispense spiritual advice!

(Looks sooo damn spiritual)!

An easy way to think about how you should dress is to say, "What would a Life Coach look like on TV?"  Then go full out in that style.  In this "authentic" photo I made myself look even more stereotypically "guru" by adding some headwear:

(That's literally a table napkin on my head, but it looks like an authentic turban)!

   

STEREOTYPICAL GURU TRAIT #2: Look hella Buddhist.

Let's say you weren't born with some of the stereotypical guru traits.  Another trick you can use to be qualified to dispense spiritual advice is dressing Buddhist-like! Just start adopting a dress pattern of a buddhist monk.  Take for example Matthieu Ricard, he's a short & pudgy & bald white dude.  Not a genetically guru-like figure eh? But because he drapes himself in the robes of a monk, he looks HELLA qualified to talk about happiness! The dude actually LOOKS like a Buddhist leader!  Simply changing your appearance can make you look super wise (and increase that Life Coaching fee)  ;-)  ;-)  ;-) If you don't want to dress like a Buddhist monk, then consider growing out a really long beard and shaving your head. As we all know: Beard + Bald = Wiseness.        

STEREOTYPICAL GURU TRAIT #3: Be larger than life.

Your income as a Life Coach is generally tied to how desirable an "ideal" you are. This means to get attention as a life coach, it's best if you're "Larger than life" in some aspect. Tony Robbins is 6' 7" tall, buff, rich, smart, and commands the attention of 10,000+ people at his events. That is a fucking alpha-male to the max: His sheer size and presence make him a bit "God Like"....as if he's a different species.  Literally being "larger than life" is a trait that can make you more successful as a life coach. Becoming "larger than life" can also mean you do uncommon things:

• You drive a sweet ass car.
• You do sweet ass activities.
• You live in a sweet ass mansion.

If you can't afford any of these things, just rent them! If you can't afford to rent these things, just take pictures NEXT to awesome things and write vague titles to imply you own them!!

"Whoa is that where Neville lives!?!?"

  Now that we're LOOKING like a bona-fide guru, let's move onto Step 3 of becoming a Life Coach.      

Step 3.) Talk about "fear" alllll the time.

Making someone SCARED is the best way to get them to buy!!  This is why we have to scare our students into thinking they're scared! Make sure to post a lot of dark advice (just make up some nonsense like this):

(Wtf does that mean?  Who cares! It sounds smart!)

We know from our post on how to scam people the best customers are going to be the most vulnerable and damaged.  So make sure to find people who are always sad. These people will DEFINITELY pay our Life Coaching fees!!! You should also talk about "sadness" a lot and make up quotes about it that sound "wise." Checkout this quote I made up: It takes two vague concepts and blends them together for a double-shot of wise-sounding-nonsense!!

(You MUST make sure the "sad" person is looking downwards)!

People are simple creatures that replicate the behavior they see around them.  So if you continually pump people full of sad thoughts, they will BECOME sad! Then they will BECOME our Life Coaching customers and pay our fees ;-)  ;-)  ;-)    

Step 4.) Talk about gratitude 6 times per day (required).

You can't be admitted into the Life Coaches Association of Nevmerica without talking about "gratitude" at least 6 times per day. Now of course you don't just have to write blog posts about gratitude, you can also:

• Post gratitude on your Facebook page.
• Make YouTube videos talking about gratitude.
• Tweet about gratitude.
• Spray essential oils into the air and bless them with gratitude.
• Pray to your healing crystals about gratitude.
• Take random pictures of yourself and write gratitude-ness phrases on them like this:

(I wrote "trip to the top" and I posted a picture on stairs! Get it!?!?!)

   

Step 5.) Abundantly talk about "abundance."

"Abundance" is a great way to get people to pay our Life Coaching fees!! Why? Because no one in the world has enough abundance.  Until someone has an abundance of abundance, we can still rope them into buying our Life Coaching packages where we CREATE more abundance for them! Pro-Tip: Find pictures where you look "Happy-And-In-Motion" and then add abundance phrases to it!

(Look how goddamn abundant that looks)!

As Life Coaches we need to put a positive spin on EVERYTHING NO MATTER WHAT, this is why talking about "abundance" is so fun! You see, real life is a combination of good and bad parts.  Humans cannot experience "good" without first experiencing "bad." It's why:

• After having to pee really bad for 2 hours, when you finally pee it feels sooooooo good.
• If you lived in 3rd World country and then moved to a 1st World country, you appreciate simple things (like having a faucet that instantly shoots out hot and cold water).
• After living in tiny-and-crappy apartment your whole life, you really appreciate moving into a big-and-spacious house.

You need lows to experience highs.  But we don't want people to know that feeling low is a normal (and necessary) part of life.  We just need to make sure people are living abundantly, so we can charge them abundantly large Life Coaching fees every month ;-)  ;-)    

Step 6.) Gather all your pics and write advice on them.

As a Life Coach people depend on you for advice, and the best advice you can give anyone is short phrases over pictures of yourself (it's just a coincidence we can share these images all over social media) ;-) ;-) Here's random-ass pictures of myself with random-ass advice overlaid!

Get it....I'm the only one in the "stands"?!?? #yourbiggestfan   #numberone   #cheerforyourself

Bonus points if you do something clever like this stereoscopic 3D picture! #negativitysucks   #notinmyhouse   #positivevibes

Let's try to throw some cat puns into the hashtags!! #LiveLifeMEOW   #PURfectLife   #PAWSativity

There's really no better way to serve your fellow man than making pictures of yourself with advice on it (also it's an excuse to write off trips and photoshoots as a "business expense")  ;-)  ;-)    

Economics of a Life Coach (aka how much money Life Coaches make):

Most people become a life coach because they have no other marketable skill.  That's why they're not "accounting coaches" or "neurosurgery coaches" ....instead they are vague "Life Coaches." You can judge an apple tree by the amount of fruit it produces.  Similarly we can judge a person by the fruits of their labor. How many life coaches do you see driving nice cars? How many life coaches do you see living "abundantly"? How many life coaches do you see living in giant houses? Not many.  For the most part you can count on this formula:

Life Coach = Poor.

If you're a life coach, let me take a wild stab-in-the-dark and guess this is how your career has gone:

1. You became a life coach and started posting all sorts of life-coachey stuff on your website and social media.
2. A few friends signup for your life coaching.
3. You get excited and say "HOORAY I made $1,000 and got to help people AND live my abundant life dream!!"
4. You continue life coaching, thinking this is your new career.
5. You start realizing it's hard to keep clients and get new ones outside your friend circle.
6. You do the accounting on your new business and realize for your effort you're making the equivalent of $4/hour.

This is sadly how a lot of life coaches end up. Then they come to the realization that most Life Coaches come to: "The best way to make money as a Life Coach is to teach other Life Coaches how to Life Coach!!!" #business   #genius   #gonnaberich    

Let's get serious for a moment (then I'll go back to be an asshole):

I sincerely feel bad for the people who get duped into thinking "becoming a life coach" is always a good path.  A lot of times this dream is sold to people who have almost zero chance of ever becoming successful at it. They invest time, money, and emotional energy into trying to coach others, and often just come out of the experience defeated and poor. If this sounds like you, I'm actually trying to help here (despite the sarcastic/silly tone of this post), so for these next sections please pay attention. The only product most Life Coaches tend to sell is the DREAM of being like them.  Here's how to know if you're accidentally doing that: If you're not selling a skill or product, you're selling the dream of being like you:

(Be like Neville and work with your feet on a desk and cup of coffee in your hand!! Only $600 per session)!

  I do a fair bit of consulting, and I've seen inside the businesses of a lot of Life Coaches. Most are struggling to make money. However, there's some that actually make a lot of money.....and it comes down to this one difference:

Rich life coaches teach (or do) a marketable skill.

The more linked to direct income your skill is, your potential for making money is higher.  It's that simple. Let me give you some examples from both sides: Activities Directly Correlated to Profits (higher earning potential):

• Teaching freelance designers how to get larger contracts.
• Teaching people to pick winning stocks.
• Tutoring students to pass their GRE exams (or any major exam).
• Designing higher converting websites for dentists.
• Generating more customers and leads for plastic surgeons.

  Things NOT directly correlated to profits (lower earning potential):

• Helping people discover their inner light being.
• Teaching people the value of essential oils.
• Coaching people to love themselves.
• Helping lift people up and get them pumped about life.
• Teaching people how to get in touch with the vibrations of crystals.

Most Life Coaches tend to go down the path of things NOT directly correlated to profits.  This is why the majority remain poor and have low earning potential.  Unless a life coach teaching things NOT correlated to profits is able to get famous, it's unlikely they will get a super high economic reward. If more Life Coaches focused their businesses more on a marketable skill, they could have a higher earning potential. Let's get into some real examples of people who've successfully done this!    

Three examples of people who could be great "Life Coaches" but instead chose to do something way more profitable:

Here are some people I believe would be successful at Life Coaching, but instead chose to specialize and therefore make a lot of money.  

EXAMPLE 1.) Laura Roeder: LKR Social, MeetEdgar.

She would make an EXCELLENT life coach, but she's boss as fuck so instead she creates USEFUL things. Right off the bat Laura has the looks (hot & happy) for being a guru figure, but she doesn't have to rub it in your face that she's pretty and successful and happy.......you can just tell. Also she runs a large business, that helps a lot too. Laura had one of the top social media blogs and training businesses (back in the day when it wasn't even well known that social media could impact a business) that had an ENORMOUS following at the time, and made a tremendous amount of money also (all this while being only 26 years old). Then in another boss-as-fuck move she started a software company called MeetEdgar.com that she and her husband now own and pull in millions per year. She even stopped blogging on her other successful website because MeetEdgar took off so much! So why is Laura successful?  Because she actually teaches REAL skills to REAL companies:

• Social media strategies for brands.
• Sells social media training for individuals.
• Social media agency for companies.
• Created MeetEdgar software that automated the task for those companies.

Laura didn't "follow her inner goddess" or any jargon like that......she just created super-useful things for companies that needed it.    

EXAMPLE 2.) James Clear: Writer, Photographer, Speaker:

He's smart, he's nice, he's handsome....who WOULDN'T want to be like this guy? James has an enormous online following on his blog (400,000+ email subscribers), and he talks about similar stuff to what life coaches teach. So why isn't he a poor and struggling life coach? Because he teaches ACTUAL skills and offers them in products!

• He sells habit books.
• He sells online seminars.
• He sells productivity books.
• He writes mind hacking books.
• He gives talks (for lots of $$$) to Fortune 500 companies.

Despite James being a guy who talks about life improvement, he's also managed to package those things in practical products that directly effect productivity at large companies.  Therefore he makes $$$ while an aimless life coach may not.    

EXAMPLE 3.) Andy Drish: The Foundation

He's what I call a "Moderate WooWoo" (I've said this to his face so this isn't anything new)  :-) Upon first meeting him he seems like a super nice, super smart, fun-loving dude who runs a business that shows people how to build software.  Upon getting to know him more, it turns out he's really into a lot of stuff (I personally) consider to be very "WooWoo" such as crystals, life energy and other weird stuff.  (Disclaimer: It's weird to ME....not everyone). I think Andy is doing it right! He's got one foot in the real world, and one foot in the WooWorld.  This means Andy can be spiritual and mystical and junk, but also gets a strong economic return from his services to the real world.

(Proof you can be WooWoo and make money TooToo)!

  So those are 3 examples of people who could become life coaches, but instead chose to specialize in at least one thing that brings them large economic return. The point is: If you want to be a "Life Coach", at least specialize in one marketable skill.   I sincerely hope this post has helped your chakras align with your inner soul light. Sincerely, Coach Guru Monk High Priestess Neville  

P.S. Here's a video about this post, and some useful tips:

 

P.P.S. What "angle" or "useful skill" have you seen successful people take instead of Life Coaching?

Leave your comments below! I will personally bless each commenter with a customized chakra-healing chant.