Ok, so we’ve got a rough Skeleton Outline of our sales page going, and now we need to fill out this first section:
[Bold statement showing what can be done]
However…..many times when people are writing a sales page they don’t clearly know WHAT they are selling!
If you’re selling something ultra-simple like an HDMI cable, it’s pretty easy:
What you are selling:
The lowest cost HDMI cable.
Which crowd you are selling to:
People who need to connect devices via an HDMI cable, and don’t want to pay a lot.
Knowing what you are selling, and which specific crowd you are selling to is extremely important!
For example, this poor guy selling lemonade isn’t getting any business from these bodybuilders. Let’s see how he changes this:
“Dang…I’m not getting any lemonade sales 😐”
“Maybe I should sell beer instead 🤔🍺”
“Dang they are not buying beer either 😫”
“Wait a second…they are bodybuilders who want bigger muscles 💪…
…What if I sold protein shakes?”
“Holy cow this audience is buying all of my protein shakes!💰🤑💰”
When he started selling the right product to the right audience, sales picked up!
Now let’s leave Stick Figure Land and go back to the real world where we are selling The KopywritingKourse paid product, which would look like this:
Now back to the first section we’re trying to fill out:
[Bold statement showing what can be done]
There’s no one specific formula on what to write here, so we’ll just write out 20 variations (I’m using this title generator for inspiration on some of these):
20 Headline Variations:
Sincerely,
Neville N. Medhora – Sales Page Writer
Hi Neville,
Here is my headline:
Don’t let your copywriter spoil your business, he/she needs TheKopywritingKourse.
Oh that’s a pretty interesting take on it :)
I wouldn’t use that one necessarily as many of the businesses coming to me for help DON’T HAVE an existing copywriter!
Yeah, agreed. Thanks for your appreciation.
I’ve already submitted a headline using the provided webform. Here’s another that was left on the cutting room floor . . .
BUY KopywrightingKourse RIGHT NOW OR THE KITTEN WILL MEET A KRUEL, KRUEL END.
Naturally, the effectiveness of this headline will be amplified if it’s accompanied by a suitable (or unsuitable, perhaps?) photo.
Oh! . . . using the “Ransom Note” font might be a nice touch, as well.
——
P.S. This is intended as komik relief. Unklench yerself, folks.
Bahahhaha, kinda reminds me of that website “Save Toby” from a while ago where a guy said he would cook Toby the Rabbit unless the internet donate $50,000 to him 😂
Hey Nev
Are you big on longtail keywords/ keywords in your titles for SEO purposes? Or do say F that and just write a catchy title that’s fitting for your post?
Thanks duder
Hey Kieran, I’m def big on both. SEO research first, article later.
However sometimes “you just wanna do” an article for the hell of it, so I go for it :)
Join the Office Hours in the KopywritingKourse and you can see my full process!
Subconsciously everyone knows learning takes effort and people don’t like buying ‘work’.
However, by avoiding work words and saying ‘Gives’ and ‘You get’ then calling it an education, all direct work words can be avoided. While ‘giving feedback’ also significantly differentiates it from other courses.
I don’t like long headlines, so I made part of it a sub-head. Didn’t want the word ‘writing’ in there too much either. Scripting is the same thing really when referring to sales material and perhaps a bit more upmarket?
“The KopywritingKourse Teaching Sales and Marketing Scripting Also Gives Feedback. You get more than a copywriting course – you get an education”
What do you think Neville?
Tony C
Daaaayyuum Tony, that’s pretty great, and possibly shirt-worthy!
I like that one a lot :)
Maybe people taking a course want to be lured into a powerful routine leading them all the way to learn the problem solution, or maybe that’s just my take on it…
I’M sure you could easily generate much better headlines but loved the stick figure examples!
Thanks Matt!
I like the concept of learning a “Routine” to write. This could be super useful :)
“Learn to optimize every piece of marketing material you put out, and get professional live help every two weeks.”
IMO “learn to optimize” is better than “learn to copy” as it relates more precisely to what the customer needs. People are generally looking for how to achieve the end result/benefit (optimize marketing materials) and in this case the “copy” part is just a means to an end, so not as crucial to communicate directly in the headline.
The “professional live help” is the other key benefit you offer that necessary to be communicated with priority. So, something about that lines should convert best.
Of course, a couple different wording options might be tested to find the most optimal one, but the headline should definitely revolve around those two benefits.
Clearly your stick figures are skipping leg day… cmon man!!
BRO….it’s genetic. My great great grandfather was a stick figure and he too had stick-like calves 😛
Thanks again Neville!! You sly devil!! I could come up with headlines all day. I guess the trick is to test it. Just like guy are
*you
Hey Mark, I’m semi-creative, but when making up a ton of headlines I use this title generator: https://copywritingcourse.com/title-generator/
….I also reference my past subject lines that did well!
https://swipefile.io/big-list-of-subject-lines-and-their-open-rates/
Well I have something that seems simple like an HDMI cable but is a bit more complex. I make dog treats. I have come to know my in person audience, however it doesn’t translate well online.
Maybe it is the copy, which I have changed several times.
The point being even low priced non complex items need to be sold. A friend of mine says you have to sell free.
Hey Rich……yummmm! (well, if I was a dog) :P
If you’re trying to differentiate your product from the rest of the products out there, and there’s A LOT of dog treats on the market, you might need some more clever advertising.
I always thought this guy’s channel on YouTube is hilarious: He just pits two foods against each other and see’s which his cat will eat first:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdOrbMSdrcw
….a comparison like that showing your dog treats win over others could be awesome!
The best part about videos is you don’t have to write a lot of copy to demonstrate the point!
Nice idea. I have some video of my grandkids eating treats and then my dog on the website.
Rich, why is the text on your home page all about you? Make it about how dog owners ‘feel’ using your products (not what it does or price) and you might not have to be so bargain basement orientated. Don’t look at other dog treat ads, look at how they sell insurance instead.
Tony
Good point Tony.
Perhaps if there was copy about why your dog treats are great (organic, healthy, macrobiotic etc) it would help.
Hi Tony, Thanks. I will change some of the copy. It has evolved or devolved over time.
Knowing your audience, yes, probably the most important aspect of copywriting.
I have a headline suggestion:
How to Write Better Emails, More Interesting About-Pages, and Sales Pages that Convert Without Selling Your Soul to the Devil (or Guru) – Even If You’ve Never Written Any Copy Before
Great suggestion Britt!
I like the “Without selling your soul” part, as I’m a big hater on hypey-sounding scammy copy.
Thanks for the suggestion, possibly shirt-worthy!
You’re welcome.
When do we know who won the shirt? :D
Brit, you have won a shirt!
Sending you an email :)
Congrats on your shirt Britt.
Certainly the best headline given the audience it was targeted at.
Well done.
Tony
Your title generator is hilarious.
* How poop affected my love life.
* How to poop for a living
* How to find people looking to buy large amounts of poop
* How to poop like a rockstar
* Respond to this email and let me know your fears about poop.
For a full month I would wake up every night having nightmares about poop.
BAHAHAHAHAHHA yeah, the dumb machine doesn’t know when it’s being serious or silly :-P
Hey Neville, I’ve read somewhere that using phrases like “learn to” / “training” etc isn’t always the best way to present a product (even if that’s exactly what you need to do!!) because people are inherently lazy and are looking for the solution without work.
So something like “the fastest & easiest way to increase effectiveness of every blog post, sales page and email without going back to college” (excuse me, I’m no copywriter so I’m sure those words are far from great – just there as an example) would appeal to more people than “take this course” and may encourage them to read more.
What’s your take on this?
I completely agree.
I think more and more as software/computers get better, people are looking for a product that just DOES the task, rather than training on how you can do the task yourself.
For example:
-VS-
“Instacart will just deliver all your groceries to your doorstep.”
I’d bet the done-for-you service will do better in the long run :-)
Knowing your audience is probably the most crucial part of this.
Kinda hard to construct a convincing sales letter, email etc to Mr (or is it Mrs?) Mysterio.
But do love the way start with just basically a template of bullet points.
Makes a complicated, overwhelming, “this gives me a headache” job so much bloody easier.
Good Stuff Neville
Oh heck yeah, making a quick Skeleton Outline of your sales page first makes life SO much easier!
Nailing down the audience is often hard as multiple audiences can use your product, but from my experience it seems best to focus on one first, then go broad later once you have traction.
Seriously loving this series. I’ve heard from some sources that numbers increase sales. Have you seen this to be true?
Hey David!
Like any blanket statement it’s not always true. In fact I’ve never seen any conclusive study showing simply adding numbers increases sales.
The way I prefer to view this is:
A strong headline demonstrating the value of a product will increase sales…and sometimes that might involve including some hard stats or numbers, but not always.
In fact just looking at these old print ads you can see not all of them include numbers, as it sometimes doesn’t make any sense.