Sergeant Neville, pay more attention!

Dude. U krack my head. Thats freaking awesome CTA

Love your post - it illustrates the point perfectly - spelling mistakes and all. I got it! There are some good comments too - thanks all round.

Its a good reminder on why we are in business - for the customer!

It has been a while since i have seen such a short but compelling post.

The poor guy must have been thinking for hours about the concept of the 3's, only to have it all backwards.

Cheers,

Jasper

So you're telling me that...

Hi, please subscribe to my blog because it would really help me out so I can be more successful with my blog about myself!

Isn't going to work well, and I should say something like:

Hi, I heard you need help with XYZ and I happen to run a blog that can help you solve XYZ. Check it out and let me know if it helped you solve XYZ!

Or something to that effect?

:)

Makes a lot of sense, and it's a strategy I've been trying to adopt in the online world. Seems to work pretty well!

Thanks for this!

-Gabe Johansson

P.S. My blog has nothing to do with math, I think.

Nev, i love that you misspelled it and your response!

When I was a kid I'd write little stories and proudly show them to my mom or sister. The response I would get was "Holly, how do you spell...." Obviously I didn't know how to spell it so that's a stupid question. Then their solution was for me to go try to look it up in the dictionary. Oh my god, that's like sending a blind man into the forest to find truffles. :)

Thanks for all your great content! I really loved your book and hope to take your klass soon.

This is fucking hilariously brilliant. And true.

so goooooood ! thanks

[…] flyer is sooo bad and you probably know how to write at least basic KOPY… like telling people WHAT’S IN IT FOR THEM and offering some bloody […]

Such a direct and concise lesson on what hiring managers really think:

"What can you do for me?"

(and only then will I pay you).

¡Excellente!

I wonder if making the offering in the last line more specific would be more effective for this dude?

i.e. Change "can help you with anything you need" to "will gladly help you with home or shop repairs" or "Can teach the rest of your workmen to work more productively".

[…] Why this guy is still totally poor […]

No he's not. The message wasn't functioning as a resume but a political statement. How Neville missed this highlights his blinders.

I wonder how you know this. But even if it is the case..the copy lesson still stands.

You always need to tell people what is in it for them or they're thoughts will be 'So what?'.

Even in times of unemployment you can choose to see problems or opportunities.

[…] >>>> Why this guy is still totally poor <<<< […]

BIGGEST MISTAKE MANY ADVERTISERS MAKE...

(and newbie copywriters...)

Yep... Forgot to list the contact information.

• No phone number...

• No website...

• No email address...

• No physical address

All the great copy changes in the world will NOT help this guy because you forgot the most important detail: HOW TO CONTACT HIM!

Back to the drawing board.

~Jonathan Dune

Direct Response Copywriter | Marketer

Two Comma Copy Pty Ltd

P.S. Proof reading and research would help as well.

P.P.S. Benefits are what something does for the reader. The changes listed are also NOT benefits, but features.

Really really good. Straight to the point post.

Im glad I subscribed to your emails :)

Thanks!

*poof*

If I was hiring, there is no way I would hire the second "resume". This hyped up self-assessed language gives no real information, except that the person knows the current "resume lingo".

Fought in 3 wars or having 3 children gives me way way way necessary infor about that person .... And by the way I have written resumes like the first one and jobs were created for me even though I did not fit the advertised criteria.

There is value in kopy-writing, but kopy can also be a way to dehumanise and miss what is important.

***

My take:

"Skilled worker for half cost.

Save costs hiring smarter!

Do you need a metal/wood worker with twice the results?

As an army sargeant i've developed a working plan that cuts on wasted time.

Try me out for a month and see the results for yourself."

Thanks for this important other viewpoint!

This picture can from another moment in history!

I don't think this guy was being a victim. He was being ironical. I would hire him because he was taking a risk and trying to make people think.

I meant it came from another moment in history.

And of course I would interview him first before giving him a job :)

"Coins" - you're missing the point - this article teaches us ALL a valuable WIIFM copywriting lesson, whatever the spelling/typo/grammar police may say. Thanks Nev!

I freakin love this post Neville! Great job!! And you drew me in like a shark to chum!

Best lesson in copywriting I've ever seen!

@Neville

I still wouldn't give him a job even with your copy!

To start with your first touch point is not wififm or grabbing.

Mainly a skilled worker randomly walking down a non industrial area, is like a needle in a haystack.

If the guy doesn't have the sense to find manufacturers and businesses that need metal workers et al, and then what use is he to my company?

I know that sounds flippant, but TARGETING is a major part of copywriting. "TELL PEOPLE WHO CARE, what they want to hear".

Once this positioning to the correct audience is in place, now the REAL copy can take over.

How can my particular business benefit from this particular guys skills - which was more of your real point anyway.

"What's in it for me" relies heavily on who the ME is!

This is a real problem with most peoples marketing, is that they don't know who they are talking to, and/or how to reach and touch these people.

Tell a great message to people who don;t care (they are not the me) and you are wasting your short life.

Tell an even flakey message to someone with a real need, and you might at least get 7 seconds to ramp up their interest.

Marketing isn't just copywriting. It's matching peoples NEEDS and desires.

As you know, that's an INTEGRAL part of copywriting. "Who the heck are you talking to?"

I appreciate the photo was just to make a point, but it raises the bigger point.

Thinking this guy will get a job with a better written (?) billboard on his back, for a skilled position, is a copy farce.

Great copy is about changing peoples minds, to transform the no to a yes.

If getting a job was as easy as saying what you can do for them, then we'd all have great jobs.

OK I'm off down my road to recruit more copywriters wearing billboards on their backs. Oh no, wait...