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    Why this guy is still totally poor

    Check out this old-timey looking photograph:

    old-timey-guy.jpg

    It’s supposed to be a picture representation of unemployment.

    But honestly the reason this guy is still unemployed might be because he’s a terrible copywriter!!  

    Look at his sign again.  It’s filled with ME  ME  ME  ME.

    It’s all about HIM.

    It’s trying to use some sob-story to get someone to hire him.  As if someone owes him employment just because he has kids.

    why-this-guy-poor-sign-markup.png

    If someone's an employer, they don’t care about this...they care about:

    "What can YOU do for ME?"

     

    Well, lemme apply some Photoshop and Kopywriting skills to this picture of Old Unemployed Uncle Joe and see if we can help him out:

    available-for-work-copywriting-sign.jpg

    AHH!!  Much better!!

    Remember, next time you’re writing something, don’t sit down like Old Unemployed Uncle Joe here and talk about YOURSELF and YOUR problems and what YOU need.

     

    "But don't people need to hear about ME a little?"

    Yes. There is lots of reasons to talk about yourself. Let's take a financial advisor as an example. Look at this guy. His website says:website-about-me-bad.pngNow this almost sounds a little scammy, because we don't know anything about this guy!But what if the webpage included a few more details including some social proof like this:about-company-better.pngEven with scammy sounding copy like this, a few things about the person/company help make you think this might be more legit. So people do want to hear about you, but mainly because they want to know working with you is good.....FOR THEM.

    Next time you're writing copy, focus on how you can help the other person, and you’ll get a much better response every time. 

    good-bad-copy-sign signature-neville-centered.png

    User Feedback

    Recommended Comments



    Guest Neville Medhora

    Posted

    Thanks Erika! I hope some of the examples have helped :)
    Link to comment
    Guest Gudda Singh Rauthan

    Posted

    Thank you, Neville. I love your way of re-writing a copy. I learn a lot from you.
    Link to comment
    Guest Neville Medhora

    Posted

    You're welcome Gudda, glad you like this style. Hopefully it helps you re-write better copy in your own life!
    Link to comment
    Guest Astghik

    Posted

    Thank YOU for your time and effort!

    Keep on the good job!

    Link to comment
    Guest Haroon

    Posted

    Neville,

     

    Many thanks for this post. Such a simple point, but a powerful lesson for copywriters.

     

    I'll be applying this to some work I have coming up with a client this month.

    Link to comment
    Guest Boss Trader Indicador

    Posted

    Thank you, Neville. :)

    Boss Trader

    Link to comment
    Guest R Sizemore

    Posted

    I think this is a very cute way of illustrating the subject matter.  But when we compare writing 50 years ago with what we might write today why are we only talking about text.  For example where the guy mentions on his sign that he has 3 children why not put pictures of the little darlings?  Messages & certainly emotions can more easily be conveyed with images no?
    Link to comment

    you make copywriting so easy.

     

    While reading it felt like you're directly talking to me.

    Link to comment
    Guest Neville Medhora

    Posted

    That's how it should sound :)

     

    Glad you enjoyed this Shreya!

    Link to comment



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