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Absurd Calls To Action (Get People To Buy By Almost Giving Them A Seizure)!


Neville

neon-light-Absurd-Calls-to-Action-sign

Let's say you sell a product, but lately your sales have been going down.

How do you increase sales?

By improving your product? No...

By enriching your customers lives? Umm no......

By giving away amazing information? Oh hells no.........

It's all about your CTA!!

Call

To

Action

A Call To Action (CTA) is sometimes just a button customers are supposed to press. Like this:

buy-button.png

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The problem with a boring ass button like this is Banner Blindness. That's when people get so used to seeing a certain type of button, they no longer click it.

I mean which of these buttons would you rather press....the bazillion boring ones, or the super-awesome-happy-fun one!?

spazzy-middle-buy-now-button

This is the reason (and the ONLY) reason your sales are down!!!!!!!

Not because you have a shit product.

Not because you are selling to the wrong crowd.

Not because you don't have a big enough audience.

It's ONLY because of your boring "Buy Now" buttons. For this reason, we at The Copywriting Course have decided to make CTA's you can use that will 100% GUARANTEED will increase your sales by 350% minimum!!!!!!**

**will not increase your sales at all ;-)

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1.) The "Hella Arrows Pointing At Your Button" CTA

How will your customers know where to buy??ย  Using arrows of course!

obnoxious-buy-now-button-cta

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2.) The "Crystal Ball" Buy Now CTA

Communicate to your customer that you know all the answers with this amazing "Crystal Ball" CTA. Much like a palm readerย will dress a certain way to look like a clairvoyant, we can use this Call To Action to show we "have all the answers."

palm-reader-buy-now-button-CTA

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3.) The "Cats Pressuring You To Buy" CTA:

We know everyone on the internet loves cats. So what if we got those cats to convince them to buy!?!??!!!??!?!

This might be the single greatest idea in history. Prepare to become a billionaire several times over when you add this genius CTA to your website!!!!!!

catgif.gif

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4.) The "Dogs Pressuring You To Buy CTA:

Now some people aren't big cat fans.....so let's pressure them to buy with dogs instead!! Who could resist clicking on these two dogs playing "Buy Now Ball" together.

You might need to buy a larger wallet for the windfall of orders you will immediately get.

dogs-playing-ball-cta.gif

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5.) The "Casino Lighting" CTA:

I have a theory which I think is pretty solid:

The amount of money a casino makes is directly proportionate to the number of lightbulbs it has in the sign. So we're gonna "sparkle the hell" out of our buy button and get people to buy!!!

Vegas-lights.gif

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6.) The "Hypnotic Spinning Button" CTA

Slowly lull people into buying using this spinning button. I once saw a guy hypnotize a whole crowd of people, and he did it by slowly lulling them into hypnosis. Similarly I think we can do this to people over the internet with this spinning "hypnotic spinning" button:

buynowloop.gif

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7.) The "You'll FLIP Over This Deal" CTA

Those dudes that hold signs and do tricks on the street corner get lots of attention, so maybe we can do the same!! This dude is FLIPPING and MOVING and people will instinctively click on it!!!! We are gonna be millionaires using this trick!!!!!!

flips.gif

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8.) The "Elephant Poking A Buy Now Button" CTA

Know what Man's Best Friend is? ELEPHANTS.

So if we use an elephant to suggest you should "BUY NOW" then people will do it!

elephant.gif

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9.) The "Copy Cat" CTA

By hovering a fake cursor over the Buy Now button, people will get suckered into doing the same ;-)

This is a fool-proof way to become rich quick. Like.....if you use this BUY NOW button I bet by tomorrow I bet you will be so rich you can't spend all the money!!!!!!!

buttonpush.gif

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10.) The "Sex Sells" CTA!

If all else fails, let's just attract a huge audience by showing them our stuff!! We all know sex sells, so this BUY NOW button will definitely do the trick!

buy now happy stickman

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11.) The "Vegas Style" CTA

Why do casinos in Las Vegas make so much money? You guessed it....

NEON SIGNS!!!!

So what if WE put neon signs on our buy buttons!?!?ย  That's right....instant riches with zero workย ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Buy-now-neon-light.gif

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12.) The "You're Not Smart" CTA

Since we're such lazy bastards and don't want to spend time building a great product, let's just make the customer feel DUMB so they purchase!!!!!!!

This-is-john-meme-cta.gif

13.) The "I WRANGLED ME A FISH PA" CTA

Everyone loves those nostalgic fishing trips, so let's try to latch onto that fond memory and get them to click "buy now." This is foolproofย  ;-)

fisherman-cta.gif

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14.) The "Add To Cart" CTA

Nothing better conveys "Add To Cart" than this innovative buy button WITH A SHOPPING CART!!!!

Moving-shopping-cart-CTA.gif

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15.) The "I Love Dogs" CTA

We know people love clicking on cute dogs, so let's make them THINK they're clicking a dog, but then it sneakily turns into a buy button. Goddamn we're so smart we're gonna get rich with this ;-)

buy now dog chase tail

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17.) The "It's Not Actually Copyright Infringement" CTA

This is Burt Gimpston, which is totally not a real character, so we're totally allowed to use it!

"Don't have a cat man."

burt-gibson-w-waterrmark

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18.) The "Ransom Note" CTA

Ok this is getting ridiculous, these people still won't buy our stuff?? Let's give them no option and kidnap their assย  ;-) . ;-)

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Ransom-Note-cta.gif

19.) The "Poke Them Till They Comply" CTA

Ok let's start getting more aggressive now. If they haven't bought yet it means they hate our product, so we've gotta up the "annoying factor" until they do!

What if we digitally "poke" them through the computer??? This could work!!! I think THIS is the one that will make us hella rich!!!!!!!!!!

buy-now-poke-hair-cta.gif

20.) The "Give Them A Seizure" CTA:

You see.....if you get someone to your sales page, then give them a seizure, their hand might accidentally hit "Buy Now" and then we can take their money before they regain consciousness ;-) ;-) ;-)

burstgif_w_watermark.gif

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If you try adding all these absurd calls to action to your page and if you are not rich within 24 hours.....

Then maybe it's not the CTA on your page.

Sincerely,

Neville Medhora

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P.S. Here's some more crappy amazing advice articles:


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