Businesses pay this woman between $1,500 and $9,500 to write their “About Us” pages.
That is Marian Schembari, and she’s a copywriter that specializes in About Us pages.
A $1,500 minimum seems like a CRAZY amount re-writing a single About Us page. So why is Marian able to charge such high prices?
I lured Marian to Austin with promises of cupcakes and jellybeans, then STOLE ALL HER SECRETS.
I made Marian some nice truth serum tea and she gave away all the secrets to writing a $9,500 About Us page below:
–MARIAN STARTS TALKING HERE-
–MARIAN STARTS TALKING HERE-
–MARIAN STARTS TALKING HERE-
–MARIAN STARTS TALKING HERE–
For a page with no clear ROI (unlike a sales page with obvious conversion metrics), it doesn’t make a ton of sense that you’d put a lot of time into an “About Us” page.
That’s why most About pages suck big time.
You know the ones… Rambling 3rd-person paragraphs listing out a company’s timeline or a contractor’s education.
*Yawn*
Don’t worry, I’ll lay out exactly how to write an About page without having to pay me $1,500. But first, know these two things:
1.) Your About page is often the most-visited page on your entire website.
2.) Your story is THE content that will stay in a reader’s head long after they’ve clicked “exit”.
Organizations from start-ups to nonprofits don’t pay me $1,500 and say:
“Write us an About Page please!!!”
No no no…..
What these clients pay for is:
- A story that makes journalists pick up the phone.
- A value proposition that makes readers sign up for everything they’ve ever created.
- An offering that makes customers request a beta version of software that’s still in stealth mode.
So let’s dive into how to actually do this:
Step 1.) Understand your “About Page” is often the 2nd-highest visited page behind your homepage.
I hacked into Neville’s private analytics and stole these screenshots from his account:
Despite him having a terrible About Us page, people stay on the page for an average of 2min and 3seconds……since he has barely 3 paragraphs of text on his About Page, this means people are ACTUALLY READING what he’s saying.
However since he put very little effort into the page, he’s missing some crucial opportunities to hook people in for life, or take an action.
Don’t be dumb like Neville and neglect the 2nd-most visited page on your website!
Step 2.) Understand your “About Page” is often the highest “bounce rate” of any page
Bounce Rate = The percentage of visitors to a website leave after viewing only one page:
Think about it…
Whether it was via a Facebook advertisement, Google search, or guest post, a new visitor has landed on your site. Cool. Congratulations!
Now, these new readers either leave …. OR…. they click “About” in your navigation.
And that, my friend, is a very clear, screaming statement:
“I like what I see… Tell me more!”
You’ve piqued their interest, and it’s your About page’s job to reel them in.
The problem is, most people slap up a third-person copy/pasted bio from LinkedIn and call it a day.
The result? You’ve just told that new reader: “Sorry, nothing to see here.”
And instead of that new reader devouring everything you’ve ever created, they click that terrifying “x” and explore someone else’s website.
Oops.
Step 3.) Understand it’s your About Page’s job to steer the visitor somewhere:
Think about your About page as a train station—bustling with crowds, each person armed with a different destination and departure schedule.
These visitors have one thing in common: They want to get somewhere!
It’s your About Page’s job to tell them how:
Thanks for the help Mr. About Page!
Sadly a lot of people treat their About page like an abandoned station with a boarded up ticket window. This sad and abandoned About Page is telling visitors they’re in the wrong place and to get off at the next stop:
Awww Mr. About Page is depressed and not being helpful at all :-(
As you can see, a great About Page can be the difference between a quick visitor exit and a newly obsessed fan.
So how do we turn your awkward third-person text fest into a sticky page that leads to more press opportunities, subscribers and rabid fans? By knowing the “anatomy” of a good About Page:
Step 4.) Understand the Anatomy of a good About Page
Essentially your About page has two jobs:
(1.) Get new readers excited to have found you.
(2.) Send them to the right place.
There are a million creative ways to format your About page, but there are a few sections I consider for each page I write:
- A Value Proposition
- A Day Dream
- A Differentiator
- A Story
- An Offering
- A Call to Action
I like this order, but you can mix and match in a way that works for you. This “Anatomy of an About Page” contains everything I put into about pages I write that cost up to $9,500….so pay close attention and take notes!
Let’s go through each section, then walk through some examples.
Here are the different parts of an About Page…..
PART 1.) The Value Proposition:
A value proposition is just a fancy way of answering the question: What is unique and desirable about you?
That’s it.
It’s usually just a sentence or two, and works great as an introductory headline. When you use this headline on your About page, you also avoid the dreaded (and completely overused) headline: “About Us.”
Your headline doesn’t need to be catchy or clever or “punchy”. It just has to encapsulate what you do, how you’re different and why people should keep reading.
Here are some example Value Propositions:
- “Life coaching for people who give a shit” (Liz Goodchild)
- “A marketplace where people connect to make, sell and buy unique goods” (Etsy)
- “Tools to grow your website’s traffic” (Sumome)
- “A marketplace for accomplishment” (Thumbtack)
For every page I write, I brainstorm at least 25 headlines. And I do this last.
I’ve found the best stories reveal themselves throughout the writing process and it’s easier to come up with something clear and unique after writing the rest of page.
But that’s what works for me—you do you.
PART 2.) The Day Dream:
How will your reader’s life be different when they buy/read/subscribe? What does that perfect life look like?
You’ve likely seen sales pages feature this tactic with the words, “Imagine if…”
For example:
- Imagine if you could take your dog anywhere, without worrying he’ll bark at old ladies on the street.
- Imagine that going to work felt as magical as Christmas morning.
- Imagine making a full-time salary by selling your jewelry at renaissance faires.
These stories don’t need to start with the word “imagine,” but it’s helpful exercise. You can cut the first few words once you’re done:
- Take your dog anywhere, without worrying he’ll bark at old ladies on the street.
- Going to work every day will feel like Christmas morning.
- Make a full-time salary selling your jewelry at renaissance faires.
Now write a short paragraph, including pain points, to really make that big idea resonate.
For example:
When you first brought Fido home, you imagined taking him everywhere… sitting at your feet while you worked from a coffee shop, running along the beach… but your dreams were quickly dashed when you realized Fido couldn’t go ANYWHERE without barking his cute little head off at every person he saw. You cringe every time you think about that one time he knocked over that patio table, spilling coffee all over your laptop.
Isn’t that so much better than starting your page off with, “I am a seasoned dog trainer with 12 years experience at the Harvard School for dog barking. I will help train your dog for $50. Call me plz.”
PART 3.) The Differentiator:
I once had a client who, when I asked what made her different from every other yoga clothing store, said, “Well, I started business to be like other yoga apparel stores.”
Instead of backhanding her over Skype, I raised my eyebrows and asked, “Did you really? Why didn’t you just get a job there? Why start a business that already exists in 1000 different incarnations?”
“Well, I love the buying process. And a lot of those stores say they stock organic products or Fair Trade fabric, but they don’t. Turns out, most of them sell over-priced wellness products that are actually bad for you.”
Now we’re getting somewhere.
Personally, I started copywriting because I got a headache from all the eye rolling I did while working in tech. I hated when these well-funded, “innovative” tech guys played it safe on their websites, shying away from Human Speak in favor for generic corporate language (HELLO!? Aren’t you supposed to be disruptive”). That’s why, on my About page, I tell a story about when an old boss told me that “personality wasn’t a brand value.”
Because I share that story, almost every new client brings it up during our first session. Every single one of them hired me specifically to add an emotional story their copy, too.
This tactic works in every industry.
- House cleaner? Your differentiator might be your homemade cleaning products.
- Dog trainer? Yours could be an extensive knowledge of canine body language.
- Renaissance faire jewelry designer? You combine Pinterest trends with necklaces modeled after real pieces in the British Museum.
We ALL have experiences that makes us uniquely qualified to do what we do. Your About page is the place to share that.
Draft this section by asking yourself: “What pisses you off about your industry?”
A photographer might say, “I hate how everyone thinks their cousin can photograph a wedding. It takes a ton of expensive equipment and years of training to develop an eye for capturing deep emotions.”
Now that’s a compelling message. Why not write something like…
Here are a few other questions to help you brainstorm:
- How is your approach different?
- What do you offer that competitors don’t?
- What drives you crazy about your industry?
- What part of your industry do you want to see changed?
- Why did you start your own business instead of getting a job with someone else?
PART 4.) A Story:
NOW—and only now—is when we include more about you. Talk about your mission, your work history, your awards or your personal story.
I’m a big fan of getting vulnerable here, even if you run a 100-person start-up in Silicon Valley. While, sure, “No one cares about you, they only care about themselves,” (thanks Nev), that’s only true if you tell your story like a robot. As humans, we constantly hunt for connections to our own lives.
Let’s say you want to get back into shape, but you’ve taken “Netflix and chill” to a whole new level. You decide to hire a personal trainer and get two recommendations from a friend.
1.) One is a marathon runner who’s been obsessed with running his whole life.
2.) The second struggled to get off the couch for years until finally losing 112 pounds and running his first marathon. He talks about his own struggles with laziness and how he conquered them using straight-forward goal setting and 15-minute morning routine.
I haven’t told you anything about their skills, just their stories. But you already have a first choice, don’t you?
If you get personal, you will retain more visitors and attract more of your perfect customer.
To help you write this section, use these prompts:
- Why do you want to help?
- How did you get involved in this industry/project/topic?
- Have you experienced this problem before?
- What questions do clients ask you all the time?
NOTE: Do not—under any circumstances—write this in the third person. Use “I” or “we” only.
If you can’t use first person throughout the page, try writing a letter from the CEO here. Huckberry and Groove both do this successfully.
PART 5.) An Offering:
Think back to the last time you discovered someone new online….
Maybe you Googled “puppy obedience” and you found someone who—FINALLY—provided a training schedule broken down by priority and training duration.
Her About page talked about her story and experience, followed by an easy way to start absorbing her content and services. She linked to her most popular training videos, a free training calendar download and a quick overview of her online training program.
You clicked “open in new tab” left right and center.
Your page should make your readers feel like they’ve just stumbled across the internet’s best-kept secret.
The Offerings section is a stylized table of contents that helps new readers learn about you while also tackling their biggest problems.
You could include:
- A blurb and button to your top 3 services.
- A list of popular blog posts.
- Images and links to your bestselling products.
- Upcoming events
Before you get overwhelmed, ask yourself: “What ONE thing do you want readers to do after reading your About page?” (Take “grow my list” off the table for a minute, because we’ll go into that later.)
For my company, I want people to check out my signature offering because it’s a good entry point for retainer clients.
My yoga apparel client wants new readers to shop—so we feature photos and links to the top products on her site.
It’s okay to have a few offerings listed here. That yoga client also includes links to her most share-worthy blog posts for those readers not quite ready to buy. Unlike a sales page, you can have a few different off ramps for readers. If you do this well, they’ll explore them all.
PART 6.) A Call To Action:
Outside of your biggest offerings, you should end on a final call to action. Ideally, this would be an email subscription form.
I have a pop-up, hello bar and footer opt-in offer, but the form on my About page converts at a significantly higher rate.
Why?
Because these are super warmed-up leads who I’ve just convinced I’m worth listening to.
So if you have a list, here’s the place to promote it.
You’re done!
If your About Page is complete, you will have an About Page that will be grabbing customers by the hand, pointing them where you want, and saving that valuable traffic!
Download this “About Us” Page Guide:
-Download as PDF, Word, or Google Doc-
-Keep this whole post in your files-
-Share with colleagues-
Sincerely,
Neville, Marian, and About Page Man
P.S. In the comments leave a link to your own About Page (or one you think is awesome).
Just maaayybe Neville, Marian, and About Page Man will take a look at the page and leave some suggestions ;-)
P.P.S. If you need some about page inspiration, here’s a free collection of about pages to browse.
Thank you for this inspiration! Grateful for any critique! https://www.grandycamp.info/about-1
Hey, great article, i have taken a lot of information from it. Would you check out my About page and tell me if there is any changes i should make? I would really appreciate it )
https://streamerselite.com/about/
Hey Jay, we can’t review everyone’s page in the comments, but we DO review pages inside our members area:
https://members.copywritingcourse.com/subscriptions
Hope to see you inside!
Great thanks a lot!
Thanks for the information! I went for the personal style that seems to work the best and get that “Human feeling” for the reader. Paired that up with a blog post from the way back when the blog started. I think it comes out as pretty nice. What do you think?
https://streamersguides.com/about/
Well, you’ve helped another of my ‘about’ pages get WAY better.
Gracias!
Great article! I’m currently in the proces of rewriting the About page (and Facebook and Linkedin Info page) of a client and this helps a lot.
Their personal backstories how they got into their business is really interesting and inspirational, but at the moment their About page is filled with woolly and longwinded content about the product.
Very nice post! Thanks!!
I have some work to do today :)
Thanks!
That’s great Veit! If you need some inspiration, here’s my collection of favorite About Pages:
https://swipefile.com/about-pages/
Great info here. Your site is always one of my go- to sites for advice or information.
How can someone who is brand new at copywriting looking to launch themselves as a freelancer write their About Me without any real experience to fall back on or posture that says I’m qualified for you to work with me??
I’m looking to set myself as an email copywriter and my About Me page has really stumped me.
Hard to be transparent when you have no expertise tested in the real world.
I don’t want to have my page scream that I’m totally new and make potential clients click the X without seeing some sort of value.
I sort of ignored the info out there stating new freelancers should just put up a site quick don’t worry about being perfect.
Your site is your marketing tool so I want it to be fitting and presentable.
Also a side question – am I making a mistake looking to specialize in one form of copy being so new? I’m thinking more long term and specializing is always the suggested route for better success (at being an expert as well).
Thanks!
Hey Mike,
If you want to keep it transparent – talk about WHY you decided to be an email copywriter. What experiences led you down this path? Why do you think you will be a successful email copywriter?
Also focus on your values – when I check out about pages I’m looking to see if this person or this company values align with my own.
Sometimes it’s explicit, sometime it’s implied.
Use your story to your advantage – and connect it to the benefits a client will experience from working with you.
I’m not Nev, but I hope that helps…
Hey Ras, that sounds like terrific advice. Well done!
I’ve added a few of your tips to my pages!
Now to sit back with my warm cup of Bonsoy and watch the clients roll in. Right? ;)
http://laracopywriter.xyz/about-me-2/
Googled “how to write an about page” and read the first 10 pages of results…
Well, “results” is probably overly generous.
Googled “kopywriting kourse + about page” and found this gem.
Thanks for making the internet suck less, Neville.
Thanks Katie! It was fun making this post with Marian, she really knows what she’s talking about.
Glad you just searched [“KopywritingKourse”] + [Topic], wise decision :-P
This is EXACTLY what I did! I have to write a corporate bio.
Mr. Google didn’t show anything good until I popped in your site!
This is wonderful advice. I’m off to start implementing it. Thank you!
I recently read this article, and then wrote an About page for a customer, applying ideas from the article. Customer feedback: five stars! :)
So glad I came across this! My about me page is horrible! I mean it. Just awful!
I knew I needed to get something on there so I came up with some rambling nonsense.
Now I can see what steps I need to take to make it worth reading.
Thanks!
Great article about writing an about page. I’m in the process of redoing my website, so this article about writing an about page came in handy.
I’m in the process of writing my about page. Here it is http://freshsalescopy.com/about/
Thanks for sharing this!! I’m in a Facebook group for copywriters and a bunch of people were raving about this post – it’s a great read! I always struggle to write about myself more than others, so I appreciate the tips. I’m trying to make my website work better for my business and I think I’ll implement some of your suggestions in the About page to see what I can do!
Hi Neville!
This had to be the BEST tutorial for writing a great About Me page. It’s been less than 2 months since I started blogging and I just made my website live. My About page still needs work but is better than it would have been. If you get a chance to take a look please let me know what you think.
That was a great tutorial! It changed my mind about how to write my About page completely, thanks for that.
I am just wondering – with all the content that the About page contains, is there a need to have a Start Here page, too? I had planned for one, but now I am not sure anymore. There is a lot of great advice how to write such page online, and I think it overlaps a lot with what should be on a great About page.
This is super helpful! I just used the exact guidance and outline from your post to re-write my About page in about 90 minutes. Check it out here: raviraman.com/about/
If anyone has additional tips for making it even better…I’m all ears :)
This is an amazing tutorial! I am going to go re-review my about page!
http://www.thejessicahansen.com
I have written my about page, please excuse the mess my site is still under construction and have to get back to the technical side and also to writting as a balance since I can be well stuck on the tech side but can you offer any feedback on my about page ? Here it is http://www.livingwelllaughoften.com Thank you ♡
Before reading this I thought our About Us page was decent. After reading this decent went to UGH! What do you think? Anyone! Thanks
http://www.compliantbootlegger.com/
Nice tutorial,
It makes a lot of sense.
I think I have to redo the page. It’s not really working :|
I love this post! It was so helpful in trying to understand what makes a good about us page. This is what I have so far
http://amotherlovingmess.com/about-us/. Mind giving me feedback? I’m going to grab your swipe file too. Thanks so much for sharing all this valuable information.
If the company is online based, how would you phrase that in the about me page? Is it necessary ?
I really want to explore becoming a copywriter here in the UK. I’m married with kids, 30, stuck in a dead end job and slowly losing hope of ever doing something I actually enjoy. I’ve always excelled in writing always the school, I love writing now albeit just for fun. I have no experience or higher education in writing and currently earn 30k a year doing a mind-numbing job. Is it worth the change and effort financially and also personally? Please help Nev!
Very interesting. I agree that most About pages are almost generic. I have a story to tell but I have yet to see an about page that long (lot’s of history). I have had several web designers off and on over the years and have been disappointed by all of them. What they say they will do but don’t is aggravating. My current site is close to what I was hoping for but still just misses the mark. The about page is mostly non-existent. The shopping cart was never setup even though that was to be part of the website. All were nice people but stop shorter that what was agreed. Not to make this long but I do want to say thank you for bringing this information in a very easy to understand manner. I am currently trying to re-build my business after 16 years and every little bit of information will help. Thanks again for your great process…I see that there is absolutely no reason for you not to get the pricing you get!
Well glad to have helped David. I would make sure to focus on the product and business first before you spend a large amount of time on the About Page. The companies that most need to improve their About Page are the ones who are already established and getting a decent amount of web traffic.
Best of luck on the site re-do’s David!
Thanks for putting his up. After reading this, I have some ideas in changing my mission in why I want to blog and how can I help others.
The video game industry/streaming is a tough tough world, and there are too many people who are clueless when jump into it. I’m still at the beginning stages as well, but there aren’t enough people contributing their knowledge. It’s every man for himself type of situation.
I hope my revisions will improve greatly over time!
Awesome, glad this article pointed you in the right direction Jemellee!
Thanks for sharing Neville, I will use this framework for my startups SpareSpace and MeetUpForCoffee. I didn’t realize the About-page was one of the most visited pages on a website. Even though I always check the about page on any website. So installing an e-mail catcher indeed makes a lot sense.
Awesome, make sure to “point” people where to go at the end of the about page. Not doing this is the biggest mistake most people make on this page!
I’d be very curious to know what you would suggest. When I wrote this about page I was focused more on telling a little of our story and who we are. But considering how much traffic the page gets I don’t think it’s doing a good job of growing our list or generating sales.
Here’s our about page:
http://www.retrosupply.co/pages/about
Would love to hear your thoughts as we’re going to be updating this page very soon!
Thanks for your consideration!
Hey Dustin, great LOOKING page, but it doesn’t direct people where to go at the end. It simply….ends!
The last time I read and then followed the advice in one of Neville’s blog posts, I started a pressure washing company, just so I could write the direct response copy on the mailers. I learned more with that little business than I did in all my years in school, and I graduated university with a business degree. In trying to market that business, I learned SEO, and now have a small but growing digital marketing agency.
And so on.
I still love great copy. And I still need to get better at writing it. And I’d love it if you could review my About page on my website here: http://determinedsolutions.com/about/
I changed a bunch of stuff on the About page just now reading this article.
Anyway, thanks for all the good knowledge Neville. I always learn something valuable on your blog.
Well that’s cool you took the advice and started something, says a lot about you Bruce!
The things that standout to me most on your about page is that you tell people how much better their life will be with SEO, but you don’t provide any solid numbers.
Maybe something like:
—————————————–
–Amy’s Drycleaners got a 25% boost in business from our SEO Lite package.
–Bob gets $400 more per order with our Advanced Package.
–Jason has seen a 3,000% increase in traffic without having to buy ads!
—————————————–
I also notice at the end of your About Page you don’t have a call to action. Maybe you can put a contact form at the bottom for people to signup or schedule a consultation.
Those changes can definitely bump the effectiveness of this page!
Thanks Neville! I appreciate the review. I installed a call to action “Get Started Now” button and I’m working on getting some numbers up.
And, of course, I can end this comment without saying thanks for recommending The Boron Letters. I printed them out and re-read them frequently.
Hi, I’m still pretty new to blogging. I guess i am still at a stage where i am fine-tuning my tone. Could you please check my about page (http://dilimokeke.com/about/) and give me your feedback? Thanks
Great job Dilim, the copy sounds casual and relatable, and at the end you directed people to signup for your email list. A great About Page!
Thanks Neville. Cool that you think it’s a “great About Page. Glad you like it.
…Now to go on and build that blog.
GO BUILD IT!!
I guess you can check my site http://www.asap.waw.pl/en, even though, I have some translation problems with the top headers in wordpress, still you can read the part about us in English. If you happen to find some time to give me feedback, I will be super grateful.
Thanks a bunch!
Hey Karolina, was this an about page? It looked more like your regular homepage, and I couldn’t see any “About” link.
Hi Neville, yes this is a regular homepage and about section is on the black background. I didn’t create any additional page for that. So I see now it might be confusing….
Loved this guide! I’ve been meaning to make an about page on my internet marketing site for ages! This finally helped me to do it! Would love your feedback 😍 http://nichearound.com/stephen-palmer-about/
Hey Stephen, good job…..the only thing I would do is remove the comments. You got them to take action by subscribing their email, and then optionally giving them some of your top content to read….but then the page kept scrolling with a huge comment field.
Maybe just disable them for that page :)
Oh yea didnt think about that will remove them :) cheers!
This was perfect timing – I had set aside time to work on my website copy (sorry, it’s kopy, I know….) and simply opened the editor next to this article. BAM! Updated my copy real time and and am MUCH happier with this version (http://www.mcdcg.com/about-us/) than I was with the version before (so you can imagine how bad THAT version was!).
Thanks for this, and would love to hear any content tweaks you may have at info at mcdcg dot com
Hey there Mary, great job re-vamping the page, this was a great for a B2B website! A lot of times B2B companies about pages say zero about the company, yours did a great job making you see friendly, accessible, and helpful.
Then at the end you pull it all together with a call to action…..great job!
Great post!
I decided to rebuild my About me page.
Thank You.
Thanks Lukasz, glad we could help you out :)
What do you think of this one, Neville? I used Marian’s template and wrote it yesterday.
http://digitaldisruptors.co/about/
Hey Nabeel, glad this guide helped you map everything out, it’s looking good!
Thank you for such terrific insight!
Your Etsy example has an effective value proposition (#1), but do you have advice for two-sided marketplaces on how to construct the dream (#2) and an offering (#5)? Should there be two short items for each (i.e., one for buyers, and one for sellers)? Thank you.
Yup! Customer first! Then create a seller-specific page that encourages sign ups. But professionals/sellers want to know that you’re catering to the customers (customers don’t care if you’re catering to the professional). Check out the Thumbtack About page as an example (I helped write this years ago): https://www.thumbtack.com/about/
Thank you! That’s a helpful example.
This article was VERY helpful! I see where I have to rewrite some of my content so I sound more like me vs writing like who I thought people will want to ask help from. I am a great source of information on elder care and I don’t have to be so technical when I write-Thank You for showing me that!
Here is my About page.
http://mygenerationelderinfo.com/about/
It isn’t my landing page and now I’m thinking maybe it should be? I am still trying to just drive traffic to my site so eventually I can offer advertising on it.
In the next few weeks I will be creating a sister site to do telephone consulting for Elder Care and plan to promote the consulting site heavily on MyGenerationElderInfo.com.
Hey Deborah,
1.) If this site is for elder people, that font is REALLY hard to read. I would suggest you stick with Size 12 Arial.
2.) I don’t think this should be your landing page. It’s extremely basic and has no calls to action.
3.) Maybe tell people what to do at the end of the About Page? Perhaps direct them to some articles.
4.) If your page is currently getting zero traffic, then I would suggest working on that first before spending too much time on the About Page.
Best of luck Deborah!
Hey Neville and Marian, I re-did my “About Me” page using your formula and would love to hear what you think:
http://www.maddestman.com/about-me/
Hey Jean, this didn’t really tell me a single thing about you. It sounded like a sales page, not an about page.
Maybe list some of your greatest accomplishments, or WHY people should listen to you.
Thank you for this free and valuable information. This is my about page http://www.janvarisbeauty.com/922-2/ what do you think?
1.) This had almost zero information about YOU. It was more like a sales pitch.
2.) Remove the comments.
3.) Point them to helpful articles or products at the end of the About Page….you need to direct them where to go.
Thank you so much for the feedback. I’ll work on it now.
Fantastic information! it has been great reading through your suggestions and feedback. I have just updated the about page on …..http://hatchaholiday.com/about/ and would love to know what you think?
Thanks Megan.
Hey Megan, great job! The page shows who you two are, what you like to do, and some fun examples. And at the end it gets people to signup to the email list, perfect :-)
I’d love some constructive criticism from anyone who would like to send it me (thank you in advance; email dogguyjosh@gmail.com).
Writing kopy for dog training and behavior coaching has been difficult because, beyond training, there’s a lot to know about dogs and every person has different needs. Long story short, what I do is assess peoples’ current problems and lifestyle, then provide them with instructions and resources on how to improve.
http://www.dogguyjosh.com/
I mean, it sounds like you nailed it. Everyone, regardless of the differences in their dog, wants their pet to fit into their current lifestyle, not the other way around.
So a headline like, “Your dog should fit into your life (not the other way around)” or something similar is a great first start.
Second, remember that your ideal clients don’t know as much about dogs as you. That’s why they want to work with you. Keep things simple, don’t overwhelm them with details, but DO take the time to educate them.
At the end of the day, every single business owner I knows thinks their service is “too unique to explain” and it’s always BS. As a fellow dog owner (who spent thousands on dog training a few years ago), what you do is pretty straight forward to explain: You help people get a better-behaved dog. The end, period.
Thank you, Marian. I’ll be sure to keep it simple. I tend to overthink things.
Hey Neville, great article, as usual. Just wondering if the subliminal imagery in the “Go Over There” image was done on purpose? LOL if so!
Hahaha….there are at least 3 dick jokes in this article :)
http://www.urxconference.com
It looks like your About page is just a paragraph, so it’s hard to give good feedback. Overall though, you’re listing the features, not the benefits. Why should Ic are about bringing together university recruiting professionals? Your headline needs to solve a pain point.
For example, “Stop wasting time fighting for talent. Meet all the candidates you could want at UR(x) in just 2 days”
Something like that.
Putting on a conference with two distinct groups. Would love to get your take on the about page.
Thanks,
Wahab
This is bad copy. I don’t know WHAT THE HELL you are talking about when you say:
————————————
URx brings together the community of passionate university recruiting professionals from both industry and higher education. Join peers, industry veterans, and leaders to gain the inspiration, knowledge, and connections that are the fuel behind every successful university recruiting program.
————————————-
It’s just jargon.
Best of luck!
This blog post has impeccable timing.
I’m staring up my new office/practice and I’ve been filling out many “about us” information on several social media platforms.
Thanks Neville for some much needed structure in my life.
U da Mannn
Dr. Dan
Dr Dan,
From the Rio Grande Valley originally?
Duuude, I was literally just having this problem – spent 5 whole days worrying and writing and re-editing my about page for a site I’m about to launch, and this post couldn’t have come at a better time.
Spooky, but awesome :-)
We read your mind and wrote this post out JUST to freak you out!
Ooh, so good! I have some of these elements already there & now have some work to do to incorporate the rest. Would love some specific feedback and/or suggestions: https://smartmomblogger.com/about/. My audience is beginner mom bloggers and stay-at-home-moms on the cusp of starting a new blog for the purpose of earning income from home.
Thanks for always sharing such great content!
This is a good About Page Candis! It takes people through your story, why the should listen to you, and then gets them to join the community by signing up their email. Great job!
Oh cool! Thanks for taking the time to respond, Neville!
Superb and useful post. With a bit of work… here’s mine :)
I was sort of nearly there but have added the day-dream and the differentiator sections. Oh, and converted my story to be ‘I’ hot ‘he’. Oh, oh, and added some blog posts. Ok, ok, I also made the CTA more compelling. All a bit embarrassing really as I’m selling similar services to Marian.
http://www.orangemesh.co.uk/about-us/
The cobbler’s children, Nik! Sometimes my own web copy embarrasses the crap out of me ;-)
I definitely like your formatting and you do keep it short and sweet. I found the font hard to read though, mostly because there’s no hierarchy, which makes it hard to skim. Can you add any traditional body text in there?
In your case, I’d speak about a few specific client wins. When you start talking about your theory, mix in some actual case studies. For example, “With Client X I did this and when I helped Client Y they grew their business by x%.” Make sense? This will help round out your story.
Thanks Marian. Of course – bringing real companies into it will give it real-life relevance!
Wow! What a great article and formula. I haven’t visited my about page in a while and think it could use updates, especially since I’m focusing on different services now versus before: consulting, on-camera, classes and corporate workshops instead of personal chef services and coaching. I’d love your thoughts! I definitely need to add the offering part and direct people around the site.
http://www.aliadalal.com/about/
I love the passion on your About page, Alia. Though I’d axe the first few sentences. No need to introduce yourself, just go straight into the benefit.
This line is my favorite: “Create a love affair with simple + flavorful + energizing whole foods”. Make that your headline, then launch into what readers will learn from there. Then give them a few places to start.
Alia I love your site! It’s so crisp and clean!
Is it a WordPress and if so which design? I like the format you have and would like to use it as a model for my upcoming elder care consulting website.
Saw this yesterday, and decided to do a quick “mvp” approach to this.. because Neville said other things are more important for where I’m at with this new business. Cut out a few parts to save time– but LOVED the simple format to follow, Marian! Thank you!
https://becomingfutureproof.com/about
I LOVE how you just dive straight into the story, Brent. No warm-up, no fluff, just straight to the action. Great job.
Try to break up some of those first few paragraphs though—pull quotes, subheadings, photos, etc. I found the sheer amount of text overwhelming, but that’s such an easy fix with formatting.
Wow. Just wow. Fantastic article Nev and Marian – really enjoyed it, and a lot to take away utilise for both myself, and the company I work with.
Got to say, the beauty of this article is that the idea makes so much sense that you feel like kicking yourself for not doing it before!
Here’s my about page, if you wouldn’t mind taking a look:
http://copoet.com/about/
Of course this is before I bring your tips to bear on it, especially in terms of adding a newsletter sign-up form and some recommended blog posts.
Holy warm-up batman! Joe, you gotta cut the first few paragraphs. Jump right into the good stuff, don’t waste our time with introduction stuff.
Start here… “Copoet exists to perpetuate: a shared sense of accomplishment, of reveling in learning, failing (yes, it’s a good thing), and succeeding.”
Seriously. Then go on to talk about why, the story behind it’s beginning and maybe explain a bit more about what it actually is? Because, to be honest, I’m not sure I quite understand. Is it a social network? A learning platform? A blog? Clear over clever, wins every time.
Holy mackerel, you’re completely right Marian! that was staring me in the face and I had no idea. All of that advice is a massive help – really appreciate it.
I’ve been beavering away at that page since you replied, and here’s what I’ve come up with:
http://copoet.com/about/
Still needs work, so I will tinker, but hopefully you’ll agree it’s much much better than the original :)
Thanks again!
Joe
Uhm, I’d love (in a ‘bro’ way) your opinion on my ‘About’ page, but my site is under renovation PLUS it’s in Romanian, so that would be a big impediment. But I’ll just copy my copy here. Oh, yeah, it’s a presentation site for a bed&breakfast. So here it goes:
*headline* We don’t offer you just a bed to sleep in, we offer you company.
*body* Imagine waking up to a sunny morning. You have things to see but first, coffee. You drink it on the balcony among the flowers, from where you have a perfect view of the mountains. You’re on vacation, you take your time. It’s great not being in a rush, for once. Enjoy the silence. Enjoy the clear sky. Take a deep breath and enjoy the clean air.
We’ve been managing b&b’s for some time now (10 years, to be exact). We’ve gone through the humble beginnings to the explosion of tourism in this little mountain town. We’ve learned what people like and want. What you appreciate. Our success and loyal friends (yes, we like calling you ‘friends’, not ‘clients’, even if it may sound cheesy) are owed to fact that we really care about and try to help whoever walks through our doors.
That’s why we always welcome you with a traditional local beverage.
That’s why we put our hearts in helping you in whichever way we can.
That’s why we always take our time and sit with you for a chat.
That’s why the food is great (hey, not our words).
So next time you’re visiting our little town (be it for the amazing views, the monastery, the Roman ruins, the stone church in the UNESCO patrimony, the bison reservation or the dinosaur valley) just give us a call and we’ll be happy to host you.
*check out our rooms* <>
*check out our food* <>
CTA: Make a reservation. Hurry up, places are filling up quickly.
Love! This is great stuff. You really painted a picture and I can imagine myself there.
I’d shorten the headline too. In English, “company” can seem a little sleazy or desperate. I think the headline works alone as “Not just a bed to sleep in” or “More than just a bed for the night”. Something like that.
I’d also play with the story section a bit. I don’t really care about the tourism explosion or how many years you’ve been in business. These are fine, but I found myself skimming. Is there a more emotional story you can tell? What inspired the owners to create a more conversational B&B? Did something specific happen? Did they use to run the B&B one way, then change their business model a few years ago? Instead of listing all their qualifications, tell one story that shows, not tells.
Noted! Thanks for the feedback. You’re right, “company” could appear as a little too much, even in my language.
Will also tweak the story bit.
Seriously NevMed, the things you bring together.
You’re a bad ass. I’m grateful that someone like you is here in the industry.
As far as I’m concerned, you rank up there with Neil and Brian.
You’re one of the “go-to” resources for our business.
Thanks Herbert, I appreciate the kind words :)
Wow, thanks so much for posting this. I’m at work right now but I am totally making all of these changes tonight. It’s so clear now. I have all these components but I didn’t have the direction until now. Excellent work. :-)
Well we’re very glad to help you out learning this stuff Beau!
What do you think of this – http://mohitpawar.com/about/?
Ideas to improve welcome.
Thanks!
Hey Mohit! I think the page is great and covers a lot, but I don’t see a CTA (Call To Action) at the end!
Could you maybe say something like:
———————————————-
I’ll stop talking about myself here, maybe you’d like to go read the blog now? –> [Link]
———————————————-
At least that way people take some action towards the end of the About Page!
I like Frank Kern’s about us page. https://frankkern.com/about/
This page is GOLDEN. I’m saving this to my swipe file right now!
http://blog.gfader.com/p/about-me.html <– Link to my blog about me page.
Or should it be AboutUs?
Doesn’t matter! Personally, I like “about” without clarifying if it’s one person or multiple. Though no one’s really looking at your URL. If it’s just you though, no need to pretend you have a team if you don’t.
Right now your About page is pretty vague. Why is what you do important? What topics do you cover that NO ONE ELSE does? I’m not getting a great sense of personality here, which is crucial on a personal site. Spend a bit more time thinking about your story and what pieces your ideal reader might remember for years to come. I guarantee it’s not where you grew up or went to school.
Thanks Marian!!
Thanks for this great advise.
I am going to re-vamp my about page in the next dayz because of you guys.
Thanks!!!!
Peter Gfader
Glad to provide a guiding hand in your page makeovers Peter!
Gosh guys, really awesome stuff to work through…now to just do it. Thank you.
Take a look at The Gallivanting Goose on http://www.thegg.co.za – your feedback will be most appreciated!
Hey Larissa, I don’t see an “About Page” on there. Post one and we’ll look at it!
This was such a great post! Thanks for writing it.
Before I started reading I thought, “I already have a great about page.” But I chose to update my page after reading each section anyway, just for kicks. After implementing the first tip (to write a better header), I immediately preferred my new about page over the old one. I was hooked and only stopped reading to implement each of the items in steps 2-6.
I’m sure my execution is still lacking (it’s late and I’m sleepy), but I was so excited I didn’t want to stop until I did all 6 things. https://www.clonescriptsoft.com/pages/about
HUZZAH! Major props for actually doing the work. That’s 90% of the battle. My suggestion is to wait a week, then go back and reread for edits and gaps in the story. That always helps me.
My one suggestion is to clarify what “tools to start your business” actually means. Because I don’t know and it doesn’t inspire me to read further. What pain point are you solving that you can bring up to the headline? What kind of tools? What do they help you easier/better/faster/cheaper than if your reader DIDN’T use them?
Details are key here. You have the bones, but you need to bring it to life with specifics.
Heya Neville and Marian
Ok I loved this article but now I’m feeling panicked and anxious! So much info I don’t even know where to start… with rule #1 I suppose
http://Www.babywash.net
You got this. I took a quick peek at your About page and there’s a lot to do, but don’t feel panicked! You clearly have a lot of passion and a good story. Try not to get caught up in the writing. Something I like to do with clients is sit down and record them talking. What if you and your partner just recorded a conversation between the two of you, answering the questions from this post? I promise some magic will come out of it when you listen back.
This is a great idea! The wording always sounds off.
I always want to say things like laundry is a soul sucker,and this ain’t your mamas Wednesday wash… but I’m not sure our audience would appreciate that. What do you think about something along the lines of 3 kids X4 loads = 7 hours of laundry. That’s a full day of insanity!!! Well just a thought anyways…
I got emailed about this post right before I was about to submit copy for an “about us” page for a client.. Definitely made redo a lot of my work before I sent it out.
More importantly, I enjoy the fact that the call to action is the crotch of the about page.
Bahahha, perfect timing then! Glad to provide a guiding hand Max.
P.S. There are several inappropriate easter eggs in this article ;-)
Hey Neville & Marian,
WOW!!! What an awesome resource in aiding with creating an outstanding About Us page.
I can honestly say that my page needs a TOTAL revamp.
I have some work ahead of me but I’m grateful for the information.
Thanks again guys,
Qais
Neville,
This is a really good article. Informative up the whazzoo . . .
I just finished my first (ever) “hand-made” website. I would be grateful if you would consider my About page.
http://www.abba-books.com/independent-publishing/
BTW, you are funny as shi^&%$%$
Thank you,
Troyon
Hey Troyon!
I like your current about page, and it even has a call to action….BUT….I would love to see some accomplishments or testimonials!!
Maybe like:
——————————————–
Some neat facts about ABBA Books:
–We have created 5 NYT Best Sellers.
–We’ve published more than 2,000 books.
–We’ve worked with over 200 authords, over 80 of them are best sellers.
–We’ve generated $14,000,000 in book sales.
–We’ve written over 24,000,000 words.
——————————————–
I think some blurbs like that could really give you some extra credibility!
Thank you Neville!
I will get to work on those right away.
Hmmmm….. I thought I had a pretty good About Page… but this opens up some depth I hadn’t thought of before. Thanks Nev and thanks Marian!
Any feedback on my page is welcomed. Check out Our Story at: https://treegear.com.au/pages/about
Hey Trevor, at the end of the page you kind of leave me hanging (get it……climbing pun) ;-)
Maybe put a link to your store or something?
————————————
Browse our climbing gear –>
————————————
At least it will keep people on the site instead of leaving them dry!
Yes Nev! Once you rappel to the bottom of the page there is no call to action.
;)
I will fix that!
Super appreciate this! We recently revamped our startup about page, but now I think we might need to do a re-revamp :) Would love to know your initial thoughts: http://www.getcroissant.com/about
PS. Marian: I love your site logo — llamas and alpacas are my favorite animals and sometimes when I need cheering up, I’ll look up videos of them.
Llamas forever! Her name is Beatriz and I imagine she has a very romantic and adventurous life ;-)
I quite like your about page, especially the formatting. Most are horrifically designed. I would change up some of the headlines though and honestly, no one cares about your “mission”. But the idea of making every day inspiring is AWESOME. Make that your first headline.
I also was a little confused about what you did. It was only until I was at the end of your story section that I realized you were a coworking space. That definitely needs to be clearer. First in headline format, then a description about what that includes and how you’re different from the thousands of other spaces out there. You have so much opportunity to tug at some heartstrings here (speaking from a lady who’s currently writing from bed), so dig a little deeper into your ideal customers pain points and desires!
Hey Nisha! I liked the about page a lot, but the one cardinal sin of that page was IT DIDN’T DIRECT ME ANYWHERE!
Maybe add something at the bottom of the page:
————————————-
We are focused on delivering delightful experiences with Croissant.
[pics of employees]
Checkout some cool workspaces we’ve curated already, maybe you’ll like one and rent it –>
————————————-
Just make sure there’s some ACTION that’s taken!
P.S. Give me a croissant plz.
Great Post! I am trying to stand out in the crowded Atlanta market as a music producer. My about us page is short and sweet but I am guessing I should add more story to it. What do you think? https://www.BlueHerringEnt.com/about
Hey Rashon, it’s hard to give advice without more context, but I think for a music producer the “About Page” isn’t going to be the most important thing.
HOWEVER, if you still want to re-do the page, what about telling your story about how you got into music, and some of the successes you had?
Thank you so much Neville and Marian for sharing this! I love this post! This will help me work on my About me: http://javacodehouse.com/about-me.html
Thanks again!!!
Hey there Dilini! Your About Page is good, but in the end it doesn’t direct people where to go.
Maybe you can write something like:
——————————————-
——————————————-
There are two ways to work with me:
1.) Schedule a 15 minute phone call and we can discuss your project to see if I am a fit.
2.) Hire me on UpWork, here is my profile: [LINK]
——————————————-
——————————————-
This at least leads people to take an ACTION from your About Page, making it much more valuable to you :-)
Neville,
I’m a wedding photographer and i’m trying to be a storyteller and I know that about us is not about me but about my market. But how I can talk about my market if i can’t talk about me?
http://www.luisettyphoto.com/about-luis-etty/
halp!
Luis, it’s really REALLY hard to write about yourself. Especially when there’s all this pressure to tell an amazing story and encapsulate everything you do into something “short and snappy”.
My advice is to think of your about page more as a series of questions. Print these out, and handwrite the answers. Then, when you’re done, format them in a way that makes sense to you (or follow the formula above).
Here are the real questions I ask my clients (this is to get the juices flowing, you don’t need to address every single one on your About page:
WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHAT YOU DO OR SELL, WHAT’S YOUR SHORT ANSWER?
WHAT’S YOUR LONGER ANSWER?
WHAT WOULD BE YOUR ANSWER IF YOU DIDN’T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT OFFENDING ANYONE?
WHY IS THIS PROJECT SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?
ONCE SOMEONE HAS READ YOUR ABOUT PAGE, WHAT ONE THING DO YOU WANT THEM TO DO?
WHAT KEEPS YOUR IDEAL CLIENT UP AT NIGHT?
WHAT is HIS / HER GREATEST DESIRE AS IT RELATES TO WHAT YOU SELL?
WHAT OBJECTIONS MIGHT HE / SHE HAVE ABOUT BUYING WHAT YOU SELL (not price—go deeper)
HOW IS YOUR APPROACH / SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM DIFFERENT? WHAT DO YOU OFFER THAT YOUR COMPETITORS DON’T?
WHAT PISSES YOU OFF ABOUT THE INDUSTRY YOU’RE IN? WHAT PART OF IT DO YOU WANT TO SEE CHANGED?
Hope these help! Seriously though. Pull out a notebook and handwrite your answers to these questions. The reason answering specific questions work is because we’re not pressured to come up with a brilliant story straight off the bat. Baby steps!
Thank you Marian and Neville!
Hey Luis, fortunately for you, you’re in a VISUAL field where your images/video matter more than your words!
Perhaps you can do what works for most photographers, and show some highlight pictures from previous weddings.
I’d rather have my wedding photographer be good at PICTURES than telling stories :-P
Neville, Marian, and About Page Man, I have been ‘stuck on stupid’ for MONTHS trying to write my ‘about’ page. I think I have finally got it! Thank you so much for this wonderfully written article. Can you guess what I’m doing tonight so it can be live tomorrow? All three of you are awesome!!!!!
Hey there Lois! What if you included some REASONS why you are such a good Pinterest Manager or writer?
Maybe like:
———————————–
———————————–
Hey there, I’m Lois, and here’s some interesting facts about my Pinterest skills:
–I’ve got more than 400,000 re-pins.
–My account has generated 20,000 clicks in the last 4 months alone.
–I know how to take a website with zero Pinterest presence, to a top 1,000 account in 3 months.
———————————–
———————————–
Showing off skills or numbers like this GREATLY increases people’s likelihood of taking notice of your service!
This post is awesome! Definitely going to have to go back and rework some of my about page. Here it is in its current version: http://digitaltradesman.net/about/ Thanks for putting this together!
Hey Ryan!
I read the About Page and thought it was WAYYYY too vague. It had nothing about YOU, like a story, or some results you got clients, or why you are so qualified to do this job.
I think maybe 1-3 paragraphs about you, and then 1-3 snippets of successes or testimonials would help.
Then also POINT PEOPLE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION! Like:
———————————
———————————
As you can see, I’m the right guy to hire for building eCommerce websites.
To schedule a consultation with me (for free), follow these steps:
1.) Thing
2.) Thing
3.) Thing
I look forward to speaking with you!
———————————
———————————
Thanks Nev! This is awesome. I appreciate your feedback. Now I got some work to do.
Neville, what do you think about having Marian re-do your About page? Track conversion changes, and do an update 30-60 days later? Would be a COOL experiment.
Don’t worry Brent, Neville and I have already talked about this!
Yeah we discussed it…..BUT, a time-pressured Neville was up at 5am to get this post out the door and couldn’t perform the entire experiment half-asleep :)
HOWEVER, I do think this would be pretty awesome. Also….free About Page for me :-D!!
Hey Nev n Marian,
I’d really like to see this too.
The results would be really insightful and helpful.
LOVE THIS POST!!
LOVE IT!
straight forward, highly implementable, extremely helpfull and your website @Marian Schembari is truly inspiring (and I do not use this word lightly or often).
Going to redo my own according to your valuable tips right now.
On a personal note – So refreshing to read a fellow bottom-line-professionals from the bay area! I live and work here and feel a lot of people, particularly start-up peeps love saying the current “right things” but will stay as far away from making clear statements as humanly possible… i.e. lets revolutionise by being just like everybody else… lets make a difference by keeping things as they are etc… so again. thank you!
Omg Dee, we need to be best friends. The Bay Area is chock-full of douchebags speaking out of their asses, but not actually saying anything relatable or of substance. My theory is that it’s the reason most apps never actually get successful outside of San Francisco. Real human beings connect to story. Jargon is for wussies.
PREACH!
I stopped working with “those” hype-driven startups for this very reason.
My last hype-startup client was a very well-funded app-centric company. They had all the “revolutionary/disruptive/meaningful” shit oozing out all over the place. But very early on I noticed they can’t even answer simple Q like – what is it you actually offer? who will enjoy this offering? Not to mention the deeper stuff like what are you doing better/differently than everyone else in your field…? In fact, they were so undefined that just trying to do so made one of the co-founders leave, realizing him and his partner where not talking about the same thing all along… crazy right?
Just getting ready to tune up my About Page, so this article comes at a great time for me. Thanks so much!
I’m a photographer and specialize in high school seniors. Would love it if you had a chance to give my about page a quick look over… http://nfocusphotos.com/about/
Beautiful! You’ve already done a great job. Can you incorporate some testimonials here? Since this page is usually the first place people go, it’s a great place to include some social proof.
I’d also change that main headline. “About Nfocus” is meaningless. But you’ve clearly uncovered some hidden gems of your target customer. Things like, “remember this time in your life” and “memories for your entire family”. See if you can incorporate that into the headline.
I also wonder if you’re actually speaking to the right customer. Are high school seniors really reading your website, or is it the parents? If it’s the parents (which I suspect it is), change your wording so you’re speaking directly to them.
Thanks for the comments, Marian! Big help. Adding some social proof is a great idea!!
My freelance co-workers say my about page is completely unprofessional and that nobody is gonna book my services.
http://www.i2iseoconsulting.com/about
Haha, Priscilla, your coworkers sound like dicks.
I actually love your About page. But I’d highlight the big benefit closer to the top. As a fellow business owner, I don’t want to “kick butt”. I don’t say that. But I do resonate with this line, “If you’re heartbroken over being ignored on the second page of Google, we get it….”
Can you turn that idea into your main headline? “I’ll help you finally escape page 2 of Google”
Thank you Marian!
Marian and Neville, YOU are making the rest of the internet look TERRIBLE by comparison. Thanks!
Ha! Mark, this is the best compliment you could ever give me.
“Update About page using Nev’s post” added to my priority to-do list.
Thanks for some cool advice, Neville!
Oh and here’s my current about page: http://www.freelancesupremacy.com/about
Let me know your thoughts.
Best!
Hey there Shaiq! I like the About Page as-is, however if you want to make it GREAT, why not put some pictures/screenshots of things such as:
–Your profile on UpWork.
–Screenshots of money you’ve received from freelance jobs.
–Your first check from freelancing
–A graph of your rates going up.
Things like this really “prove” to people that you’re the real deal, and they should learn from you!
Thank you Nev and Marian for sharing this! This is great, and really put into perspective that I may have been talking about my agency more than talking to my visitors. I started implementing some of your guide and I wanted to get your feedback to see how I’m doing: http://octave.media/about-octave-media/
I will be sure to keep this guide handy for helping other clients with their pages too. Thank you!
Yes, that is a common mistake people make The people reading the page are….PEOPLE! So speak with them!
I will say your current About Page says ZERO about you though! If you don’t want to write a lot, maybe list out:
–Some famous clients you’ve worked with.
–How long average project takes vs the competition.
–Advantages you have.
–Testimonials.
A super-simple example of a good about page is this:
https://basecamp.com/about
Awesome, thanks Nev!
Thanks! I’ve recently revamped my About Me Page. I’d love your thoughts!
http://beautyinthemess.com/about-me-page/
Whitney, I’m going to tell you what I’ve told everyone else here…. don’t START with your story. It’s interesting and valuable, but people want to immediately know what you’re going to offer them (and why it’s important). Then lead into your story and experience.
When I read your About page I didn’t understand how you help people until I got to this line: “look beyond the mess and mundane to see the beauty in our every day lives.”
That’s your big idea right there. Move that whole section up to the top and tweak it so it works as a headline, i.e. “Move beyond the mess to see the beauty in your everyday life.”
Which leads me to my next piece of feedback. Switch out 50% of your use of “I” and “my” to the word “you”. Connect your experience with your reader’s experience. They want to see themselves reflected in your story. Make it easy for them by speaking to them as opposed to about yourself.
Thanks Neville and Marian
Awesome information!
Even though I’ve done a lot of copywriting in the past, I have to admit that I’ve gotten lazy and have basically considered about us pages as an afterthought.
NO MORE!
Ron
What do you think to the viability of starting a small business that offers to re-write bad copy by cold emailing the business owners and pointing out their weaknesses, whilst providing some ‘copy and paste’ alternatives? These can then be developed into paid jobs for more extensive, re-occurring jobs.
I’ve seen so many badly written and formatted webpages for websites that are clearly put together by people who have not put much thought into that part of their business, that there must be a side-hustle to be had somewhere along these lines. Anyone else ever done anything like this?
……isn’t this LITERALLY what a copywriter does?? :-)
Tom,
Two problems with what you’re proposing.
1. People don’t like to have their website critiqued or criticized by complete strangers
2. People who have lousy copy on their websites simply don’t care or don’t have the money to make it better.
Spend your time, money and effort on people who actually DO have good copy. They are always looking to make it better. Those are your real prospects. Trust me, I’ve been there. I learned a lot from my cold e-mailing experiences.
Great tips here! I’ve heard the about page was one of the more important pages but never understood why. Until now. Love to see what you guys think of the about page here: http://circuitcrush.com/about/
Hey Brian!
Cut the first few paragraphs. Seriously. Most people spend a long time warming up, and you want to drop new readers right into the action.
Here’s where things start to get interesting: “…learn electronics even if you’re not a math whiz.” That’s your value proposition, and THAT’S what your website is really About. Your story is interesting, and I want to read it, but it’s a mistake to start there. People want to know how and why you can help them, so start with a big headline that highlights the specifics of what you do, talk about what they’ll learn, then ease into the story, followed by a call to action.
Thanks Marian! Only took me a year to see you replied lol. Anyway, sounds like good advice. Maybe I’ll give it a try.
Great framework, Marian! I really like how the structure flow right into a goal. Here’s a couple of pages I’d love some feedback on:
Company (Cleaning Company trying to funnel towards a quote request):
https://kleenmark.com/office-cleaning-service-business
Personal (just a general get to know me):
http://joshharoldson.com/meet-josh-haroldson/
Hi Josh! Cleaning companies have SUCH a huge opportunity, so I’m glad you submitted your page.
I love the questions you have at the top of the page, as they immediately help qualify your reader as a) a fit or b) not a fit. So that’s a great first step.
You’re missing the emotional piece… Your headline says to stop worrying about cleaning. Do you really think that’s something your ideal customer spends all night worrying about? More likely he or she stresses about the minutiae of running an office. Or maybe all her employees are quitting because the office is a mess (literally and figuratively). Right now you’ve nailed the specifics of your perfect customer, but not what truly motivates them to hire a regular cleaner. I’d spend some time really thinking about these triggers.
Another great question to ask yourself is, “What pisses you off about your industry?” or “What frustrations do customers have about most cleaners?” Personally, I hate having a cleaner in my space while I’m home, as it makes me feel guilty about not doing the cleaning myself. But if I read a website that said, “We specialize in being totally unobtrusive! You sit back, realize, and the next time you look up your house will be sparkling clean.”
See what I mean? Try to incorporate a little more emotion and storytelling into this page. It will make a huge difference.
Thanks, Marian! I definitely agree that we were missing a bit of story. I’ve already made some changes that I’m excited to test! Thanks again!
I just started reworking our About page, so this post has come at the perfect time. Thanks!
https://brandpacks.com/about/
Hey Adam, I would just take that bullet-point list and expand each one out:
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[pic]
Easy to use template files created by professionals.
This means no bugs, everything works perfectly right out of the box. It’s like having your personal web developer for only the price of a webpage template.m
[pic]
Free fonts used.
This means you don’t have to pay for fonts, and they work perfectly across all browsers.
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All those bullet points are great, but you need to explain to non-techie people WHY each point is good!
http://mediatracks.com/about/ – I work for this company now helping them with digital/inbound marketing and it’s certainly an uphill battle trying to get ‘old school’ people to adapt to their modern clients, instead of hoping for things to go back to the way they were in the early 90’s. I can see right off the bat, the About page goes nowhere and is so dry and boring that, despite being our second most visited page, has the highest bounce rate.
Whats a good change I can implement right away? I know I’ll be rewriting that copy today. Thanks for the helpful post!
The copy sucks, the statistics numbers part is great though.
Re-read this post Justin and follow along the steps, that will help!
Hey Neville & Marian,
Great piece, i’m going to start this evening restructuring my about page, have a look at it so far, any tips you can offer would be great – http://www.grillsandspills.com/about/
I do need to add a call to action, I know that much.
Stay Awesome x
Hey Martyn,
After reading your About page (and nothing else on your site) I still don’t know what you do or how it impacts me. I’m a HUGE fan of incorporating personal story on your site, but it needs an anchor in MY pain points, MY problems. What can I say, I’m selfish like that.
What will readers learn on your site?
Why should we stick around?
How is your approach different?
Where should they go next? (you know this one already)
Hey Marian,
Thanks for your reply :) – i’ll be re-writing it then, with your notes and the guide above i’m hopeful i can smash out something better. It certainly needs something more. It was a rush job.
M
They almost always are!
Hi Neville & Marian,
Great article, i’ve always secretly known the about page of a site is near most important, but oddly left it for a random Sunday afternoon to build. Simply put, I need help with it! Do check it out and any feedback (more blunt and no-filter) the better! http://www.coderman.net/about/
1.) I can’t read your font. It’s like size 8 light grey ON A GREY BACKGROUND…..wtf?
2.) Put a call to action at the end. Either to signup for the email list or point them to something to read.
3.) Otherwise it’s good!
Hi Neville,
Love your site.. thanks for all the tips so far…
I just launched my new e-commerce store. If you guys have some energy left you can check it out: https://www.smoothscrub.com/about-coffee
Thanks!
Mila
You know, I actually really love the layout of this page. It’s short and sweet and gives me something to think about. It’s definitely missing the more emotional piece of what you offer and I’d love some actual photographs to illustrate this process (or, even better, the results!).
I also think the first set of illustrations focus more on features, than benefits. Pull out the main points into each headline:
“Diminish the appearance of cellulite”
“Get rid of scaly skin”
“Improve skin texture”
These speak to my pain points better than “cellulite treatment”.
Thanks so much Marian!
This was extremely helpful. Thanks! Here’s my site’s about page (though methinks I have some changes to make after reading this article): https://www.tldrpharmacy.com/about/
Okay, I LOVE that you started your page with a testimonial. It definitely makes me want to keep reading.
I like the layout, but it feels a little text heavy. For ease of reading, using simple formatting rules in the sections where you have a lot of story:
– Bolded phrases
– Pull quotes
– Subheadings
– Photos
You already do a little of this, which is great, but my brain immediately went into overwhelm when I clicked, so it could use a little sprucing by a designer.
Personally, I HATE scrolling navigation menus, as they make the actual copy hard to read. People know where to find your nav. Axe it if you can.
At the end of the day though, it all comes down to your call to action. WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN I’M DOING READING? Mentioning it in simple body text isn’t enough. If your newsletter really is good and hands out free stuff, tell me exactly what I’ll get and make it pop.
Thanks so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to review and provide feedback! I’ll do some editing based off of your advice later today. Thanks again!
Great writeup. I’ve never considered any of this. Our site doesn’t include any of the 6 parts. We do have a 45% bounce rate on that page and we never considered that. Surprisingly it’s only our 11 most visited page.
http://wodathome.com/about/meet-your-coaches/
Hey Kyle!
1.) The font is hella small. When viewed in mobile it’s so tiny I literally can’t read it.
2.) At the end of the page give people something to do, such as signup for an email list, call you, or read an article.
Otherwise it’s a decent page!
Hey Neville great article!
I read through it and I feel like my about page has a lot of the components that you wrote about.
The only thing I’m really missing is a call to action linking to my email subscription form, but other than that I feel like I did a good job.
Here’s the link to it: http://nextlevelconfidence.com/about/
It’s for an upcoming website I’m working on.
Let me know what you think :)
For me, your About page doesn’t get doing until you say this: “And this blog will show you how you can unlock that feeling and bring real positive change into your life.”
That, with a bit of tweaking, can be your headline: “Unlock your ‘next level confidence’ and bring positive change to your life.”
Everything that comes before that is warm-up—a mistake most people make, even me, when writing a first draft.
Interesting post. Will have to take a look at our About us page. Take a look and let us know your comments: https://tsvs.net/about/
Hey Justin, if your goal is to get people to fill out that form, then it does a great job!
The Call To Action is what most people are missing on their About Pages, but you definitely have yours in place.
Thanks Neville appreciate the feedback and comments!
What Neville said. I’d also change up that main headline so it’s more emotional. Pet services is an inherently emotional industry and I really love this line: “Our goal is to provide your customers with practical surgical alternatives within your veterinary hospital that deliver positive outcomes.”
Can you change your headline from “About Us” to “Practical surgical alternatives for your pet hospital”?
That gives us an immediate understanding of what you do and implies that MOST surgical alternatives aren’t practical. Win-win.
Hi Marian,
Thanks for the comments. Are you suggesting to change the headline at the top of the About us page or change the About tab on the main website page to”Practical surgical alternatives for your pet hospital?”
Thanks
Change the headline at the top of the About page! Don’t ever change the navigation (sorry for the confusion). Navigation menus should always be clear and consistent. On the page itself though, you want to immediately capture their attention and “About Us” is a waste of prime internet real estate.
Interesting – we went for the portrait style about page
http://www.dividendtraining.co.uk/about/
Hey David, like a lot of other sites here, your About Page fails to POINT me somewhere at the end. It simply “leaves me hanging” after I read everything!
Maybe point people to your training at the end? Like: “Ready to get started with Oracle? Start with our Beginners Guide to Oracle –>”
I thought our About Page was reasonable, until I read this post :) Thanks for opening my eyes!
In any case, please take a look – https://nano-b.com/pages/about-us
Of course, any feedback or advice will be appreciated (bribery in the form of toothbrushes is possible).
Hey Petar, I see one cardinal sin on your about page…you don’t POINT people anywhere at the end of the page!
I think towards the end you should have some text like “See the details of our toothbrush here –>” which directs people to another page on your site.
I read the About Page and it left me hanging. Send me somewhere!
Thanks for bringing this up. We struggled with the About Us page for a bit until we came up with this
https://www.okieb.com/pages/about-us
After reading this post, I know we can do better. Thanks Neville and Marian for the inspiration!
Hey Reuben, I think the problem is at the end of the story you don’t tell people what to do.
For example maybe point them to your product pages at the end, or send them to a popular article. That might salvage a lot of people who just “bounce” from your About Page!
Hey Neville, I appreciate you taking the time for feedback! Many thanks…
Wow, glad I saw this article. Now I know my about section sucks! I have a one pager currently and the goal is to get people to subscribe to be the first to know when the website launches. I was going for mystery to pique people’s curiosity but not sure if that’s working hah. After reading this, I think I’ll have to rewrite the whole page!
blistersandbliss.co
Hey Christine, I would first focus on launching your business before spending too much time on an About Page.
They are more important for established businesses who have traffic and customers. Focus on those two things first, THEN write an About Page!
Ah thanks for that! I’m over here scrambling to write an about me page haha
Well, I never even thought about that before. The “About Page,” always felt like writing the first part of a business plan while suffering from a stubbed toe. Now I have to go write a proper page with these fantastic ideas until I can afford to hire Marian and her team. Thanks, Neville.
Thanks Frank!
I will say this: I wouldn’t focus on the “About Page” until your site is doing well. The businesses that pay Marian for an expensive About Page are generally doing well and getting good traffic.
However by following this guide, it could actually help hone your business message. There’s some good questions Marian asks such as, “Why are you different or better than the competition” that is sometimes a hard question to answer!
I disagree with Neville on this one. Should you pay $1500 for an About page when you’re brand new? Nope. But I do think it’s such an important part of your website. Even if you only get 30 visitors per month, almost all of them will click on your About page. If it’s some boring bio, it won’t resonate with any of them. But if it’s hyper-targeted, well-written and different from anything else they’ve ever seen, you could get a good chunk of them converting very quickly.
For example, my personal About page doesn’t get a ton of traffic. No one really goes to my company website unless they’ve been referred. When I first started out I maybe got 500 visitors per month. But nearly every week I’d get an email from someone saying, “I can’t afford you, but I just wanted to say how much your story resonated with me.” Or “THANK YOU for saying what you did on your About page. Can I get on your waitlist?”
Stories do matter, even if your audience is paltry. If you want to stand out quickly, you need to start now.
Hi Neville and Marian, Thanks for the great tips on the about page. Here’s mine http://tipsforios.com/about-me/ I think I have a lot of work to do.
Hey Ellen! It seems like you are missing the part on your “About” page where you tell people what to do.
This can mean directing them to a tutorial, or telling them HOW you train people to use their iOS devices, or give them a story about why this is important to you.
….it can also simply be just pointing them somewhere else on the site at the end of the page such as:
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If you’d like to start brushing up on your Apple product skills, read these:
–Here’s my guide on using an iPad: [LINK]
–Neat things you can do for your health with your iPhone: [LINK]
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So instead of “leaving them hanging” on your About page, you point them in a new direction!
All very interesting and useful, but I’m questioning the current use of what formerly were quaintly referred to as “vulgarities” in copy. For example, “Life coaching for people who give a shit” (Liz Goodchild). This is kinda crude, doncha think? Now it may very well be both appropriate and (more importantly) effective copy for offers directed to the very youthful end of the potential client spectrum (i.e., under 30 years old) and perhaps that’s the target market for life coaching. What do I know? But it’s certainly possible to be interesting, informal, and persuasive without sounding, uh, “intellectually challenged.” Yo, bro, ya feel me?uaintly
Hey Richard, I don’t think Marian said you SHOULD use that…it was just pointed out as an example.
Also I think “vulgarity” is very subjective. Some people might find that offensive (which is ok), but another group might not even bat an eye!
What Neville said.
Cursing as absolutely not for everyone. In Liz’s case, her target audience is British, young and sick and tired of their day job. They need something to shake them awake.
I use swear words in my personal copy, because that’s how I talk in real life and how my ideal customers talk in real life. And honestly, I like people who are comfortable saying what they mean without any of the BS. HOWEVER, I have only once used swear words in paid copy. Most of my clients are big tech companies who don’t want to alienate people. And yes, cursing will do that.
Hey, Neville last week I printed 25 boron letter chapters and completed it is great material for beginners I am working on the educational site what do you suggest for about us page ?
Hey Edward, The Boron Letters are great! I would probably take Marian’s advice from above and write a little about what the company does and how it helps people.
Try printing out this post too and go through it a few times. There’s some good stuff in here!
Here’s the “About” page for my blog, which offers tips and strategies for literacy teachers:
http://www.gerarddawson.org/about/
Hey Gerard, that’s actually a great About page…not many suggestions I can give.
…okay, just one :)
I would suggest you write something like this:
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When you come here you’ll find the actual results of things that worked and didn’t, and you’ll get ideas that you can apply in your own class, hopefully tomorrow. The best way to keep up is by subscribing. You can do that by entering your email below, and, as a thank you, I’ll send you Simplify Feedback, my ebook for any teacher who wants to respond to student work more effectively and efficiently. No spam, promise.
[Signup form]
Sincerely,
Gerard Dawson
P.S. Here are three popular articles of mine you might like:
1.) Link 1
2.) Link 2
3.) Link 3
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I think this will “salvage” some readers who aren’t going to subscribe right away, but they might be interested enough to click some of your great articles!
Neville, thanks for taking the time to offer the individualized help. I see that in the post, and it totally makes sense.
Thanks again.
No worries Gerard, glad to help :)
I think I have bits and pieces of the advice incorporated into my page already – https://www.codahair.com/pages/about-us
However, I really should go back and add the offering section. What do you think?
Hey Uche! I think the main problem with the page is that it “leaves people hanging.”
Maybe at the end of the about page make a small list of your most popular products or pages…..just give them SOME guidance as to where to go. Maybe something like:
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–Our full guide to hair extensions: [LINK]
–Browse our store: [LINK]
–See Before/After pics of clients: [LINK]
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Something like that at the end of the page would at least give people an option to keep exploring your site and products!
Thanks Neville! After reading your post, I figured that was the strongest weakness. I’ll work on that ASAP. Thanks so much for your help!
Hey, I don’t really have a separate about us page. I have a small paragraph at the bottom of the website that gives a description on what we do; http://www.startupily.com.
Let me know what you think and should I create a dedicated about us page?
I think you should, as there’s nothing on the page that feeds my thirst to learn more about you!
While looking at the page I was thinking:
“Is this a company or a single person writing this?”
“Where are they located?”
“What’s the purpose of this site?”
“Do they have any must-read articles?”
….all of these questions went unanswered for the most part without an informational page. Perhaps the About page can also have a short story of WHY people should read you (maybe a cool story about your past experience or successes).
Thanks for the advice Neville.
I have seen quite a few famous bloggers who only provide a small paragraph about the blog instead of themselves so I was following in their footsteps.
I will be redesigning my website in the next few days and make sure I add an about me page as well.
Appreciate it.
Thank you for showing how to do this properly; we are starting a re-write of our page at work and this will be our guide =)
Thank you Karmin, best of luck getting the page up and running. Post it below when done (if the company allows it)!