The next section in the sales page we’re writing together is:
[Summary of What They Get]
In this section we are giving a quick-n-dirty summary of what people will get for their purchase.
If you are selling a learning product (like we are with our Kopywriting Kourse product example), then explain what they will learn.
If you are selling a physical product (like a yo-yo), then explain what they will get with their purchase.
In the previous version of the sales page it looked like this:
This wasn’t necessarily a bad summary, but I wanted to pay some attention to it, because on various versions of this sales page, THIS PARTICULAR SECTION would get a fair amount of readership then people would drop off.
I found it very difficult to read this section as it had lots of errant blank space and weird font combinations.
Checkout this scroll map of an original version of this page:
From other versions of this sales page it seemed people paused on this section quickly, then scrolled away. This leaves me to believe this part of the page was difficult (or flat out un-interesting) to read.
One thing we’re gonna do is upgrade the big green checkboxes with individual icons. These are meant to be “explanatory” icons, but not too distracting. Thus we are making them kind of grey and all of the same motif:
This would leave us with something designed kind of like this:
Here’s the re-written titles, copy, and associated icons:
One of my favorite parts about this [Summary of What They Get] sections is that it forces YOU to crystalize what your product delivers. You can see in one or two pages if you are delivering a bunch of good stuff or not.
So in our experiment to make a sales page from scratch, if you’re following along, go and and write out a summary of all the things a person gets when they buy your product.
Haven’t bought your kourse Neville. It would be stupid not to buy it. Gonna buy it… lol
Hey Neville,
I love your sales page series (and your kopy-course too)! You are a great teacher who can explain valuable concepts in a simple and actionable way.
I have a question when it comes to setting up a sales page for a physical consumer product.
When it comes to the boring technical aspects of the product such as dimensions, material and weight — Where would you put it on the sales page?
Thanks
Dennis the Menace
So I love how you’re using the Kourse sales page as an example and thereby inviting us to learn more about it and perhaps buy it. ;-)
I have to wonder, though … after working through these lessons (and eagerly awaiting the next installment), AND reading other posts on your site (holy cow, that ABOUT page post – wow – and I thought I was reasonably good at ABOUT pages!), I wonder *just how much more is there to teach?*
(I’m sort of, but only sort of, kidding…)
Thank you for this! It’s tremendously helpful, and right in time because I’m preparing to launch a new program!
Hey Grace, glad you’re liking this series!
I believe you’re asking about what else is in the Kourse….well since you don’t already know, it means the current sales page has done a poor job at telling you!
If it really was doing it’s job, you would know! That’s why I’m going through and changing the page up :-)
However one of the MOST valuable things you get with membership is the live Office Hours where we all meet for between 1 and 2 hours and go through copy live on a video call (where we can all interact with each other).
This is by far the most valuable thing for people who take advantage of it. One person uses it to run all his copywriting client work by me before submitting it, one person has me helping with content research, improving blog posts, getting businesses advice….
Hope that helps!
Best money I ever spent on a course. I have been through the course multi times and I love it every time I go through it! Neville is the best, and people who are even the slightest bit interested in copywriting needs to take this course! Money well spent!!
Why thank you Bill! It was a pleasure to have you in the office hours!
“the basics, and that’s all many people need to get started. However if you want more advanced copy strategies, venture into the Content Writing Course and Email Writing Course for far more specific examples, case studies, and techniques.”
I’m confused on this part.. will those be additional courses that need to be bought?
Good point…..I can probably clean up that section a bit.
Possibly shirt-worthy observation Evelyn!
Just curious, what tool are you using for checking who’s viewing your site?
I use a combination of:
– Google Analytics
– Sumo
– CrazyEgg
The fact that I’m writing this means you’re doing a great job!
The fact that I’m reply means I appreciate the kind words :-)
The revised version is way better! Very good before and after.
Thanks Julie, I like it better too! I believe when it was first written I was in a hurry, so now it got a little extra TLC and reads better :)
Oh, Neville, you would have blushed to see how horrid my About Me page was before I saw your post on About Me pages.
It was so very bad. It’s embarrassing knowing I actually had it up where real people could see it.
But we live and learn.
Well glad you got it all cleaned up! Marian did a great job with that post!
https://copywritingcourse.com/how-to-write-an-about-us-page/
Hey Neville,
First of all.. I love your blog!!
BUT
The comment section price is sooooo boring, in fact it is so boring that it makes me not want to comment because I’m afraid of receiving a T-Shirt that I’d probably never wear. I know I’m just some random guy and you’re probably thinking “who the hell is this guy? and I don’t even want him as a fan if he’s gonna be mean like this.”
But
that’s not the point here —- the point is—– what if other people think the same way?????
Because
There is no way getting around that these t-shirts are pretty boring looking and it’s probably the most common price for any corporate challenge contest ever.
I’d love to see some funky prices for you comments section winners!! Maybe you could do an affiliate program with some cool text-editor software or perhaps even give out pens that look exactly like the once in your t-shirt logo. because those are some dope pens man, and I wish I had one…
Best regards,
Swedish dude in San Francisco
Hey Jake!
Not sure I follow….are you saying my PRICING is boring, or the tshirt??
I’m confused 🙄
the winning prize*** for best comment :P:P
Heh heh…you didn’t win this particular time, but there’s a BUNCH more posts in this series coming out, so keep participating and you have a pretty good chance of winning :)
Whenever people see a long list of product features, their eyes glaze over.
It’s similar to eating at a restaurant with too many options.
Information overload!
The best restaurants have fewer options. But those options are phenomenal.
This reminds me of something Drayton Bird said in one of his recent emails:
“Never try and sell three things at once. Either sell one thing with an upgrade or lots of things, like a catalogue.”
Neville, do you have experience testing your sales page with only the top 3 or 5 benefits?
Hey Ryan!
For this KopywritingKourse bundle it’s not quite as clear as selling just one thing, however in the past I used to sell each course individually and it got complex and difficult and more confusing.
I simplified the hell out of everything by rolling it all into one. For this reason it’s a bit hard to narrow down the [Summary of what they get] section into just 3 points.
I think this section is good now….we’ll see how it fares through the testing phase!
Yeah, that makes sense.
I hope you share the results of the testing phase (and even show us how you do your testing phase).
Yup, I will be showing all the various tools used to track pages (which then informs you WHAT to change on them).
Looks like a big mountain to climb, I need a flying carpet or smth
I trade a T-shirt for a riddle )
Your face is a big mountain.
#burned
Always love your content Neville! I’ve always found it interesting that people (we) love those explanation icons so much!
Thanks Nick!
Icons are awesome and important :)
Hi Neville,
I don’t see you use bold text in this section. I’ve learned that readers skim the text. Is it because you want to force your writers to read it all? Or something else?
Love the fact that you praise icons. I’m actually in the middle of using (much) more of this as I think this will trigger our much more visual parts of the brain.
Thanx, Sarah
Hey Sarah, the titles are bolded.
I’m not bolding too much other text as the two-sided layout, icons, different sized headlines and different sized text might get TOO distracting if too many things are bolded.
Otherwise I’m a huge fan of bolded words :)
I see. Good point. I’m sticking to my bolded words then.
Love the change btw. (Except for the yellow background…)
I sincerely appreciate you doing this Neville. The gradual writing of each section makes it obvious to see how this sales page is built. With baby steps!
Much better than staring at the blank screen of death wondering where to start!
Thank you very much Jane, it’s kind of fun to do also!
By the end we’ll smash all these sections together, design them, and have a full landing page we will test for numbers.