What if you got a text message like this:
It almost seems unnecessary for the person typing AND the person reading.
Why can’t this be shortened down to something nice and sweet like this:
Now all the Grammar Nazi’s in the world will revolt at the literary atrocity above……but isn’t this just WAY MORE DAMN EFFICIENT?
- It uses less characters.
- It takes less time to write.
- It takes less time to read.
- It uses the already pre-defined context to transmit a message (you were obviously trying to meet Jason at a movie).
When transmitting information from one brain to another, sometimes there are ways you can hack the length shorter…..and thus make it more effective.
But there’s this legend in the marketing community that somehow Longer = Better. (insert your own penis joke here)!
It’s kinda true in some ways, look at all these charts that show longer articles get more viral:
(This is the part of the article where I jack a bunch of charts from other websites to make what I’m saying more believable)!
Yup….proves my point.
See? I told you.
But here’s the thing:
Lemme show you some examples of how lots of information can be crammed into a small package:
FIRST EXAMPLE:
I remember my favorite image I ever made was on my first sales page, it looked like this (‘HoR’ stood for ‘House Of Rave’):
(I thought I was sooooo cool for making it in Photoshop even though it was a template I used).
WORD COUNT: 20.
There’s only a total of 20 words in this picture, BUT, let’s break down the sheet amount of context that your brain spools up when seeing the image:
(You don’t have to read this whole list….i’m just breaking it down byte-by-byte to show the volume):
- The picture is of a familiar Snickers bar package.
- The “bite sized” reference is a reference to an old Snickers bar advertising campaign.
- The “wrapped up” reference is referring to how a Snickers bar is wrapped up.
- You are understanding that if you buy the copywriting course it’s small and quick to digest.
- You are understanding you will learn this information quickly.
See how much bang-per-word I got? Nice.
SECOND EXAMPLE:
Chris runs an online hearing aid store called EarMall. He also sells refurbished hearing aids.
He had a bunch of copy about how in the medical industry, anything that’s considered “refurbished” has an ENORMOUS mark-down making them like 6x cheaper. There’s also another little secret that showroom models, or units that’ve been returned because of sizing mis-matches, or any unsold inventory are all considered “refurbished”.
For this reason he can sell the EXACT SAME HEARING AID for hella cheaper.
But instead of relaying this in a lot of text, he could so the same in a much shorter span. Here’s the original text about this process in an email:
WORD COUNT: 396
So what if we re-did all the text explaining why refurbished hearing aids are much cheaper and got people’s attention with THIS instead (which is way more “grabby”):
-or-
Now Chris can still use his sales copy to get people interested, but a easy-to-understand image can capture the attention FAR better in this situation.
THIRD EXAMPLE:
Tanuja business LoveBitesByTanuja makes desserts from healthy stuff and is trying to appeal to the Paleo-type crowd who wants to eat desserts, but not get all the sugar & crap that goes in them.
This is easily explained in long-form copy, but here’s the kicker:
Most of Tanuja’s sales come from INSTAGRAM!
That means at most you get one picture to explain your product! So long form sales copy in the Instagram format is much more difficult as you have to get people to SEE A PICTURE –> GET THEM TO CLICK A LINK –> READ LONG COPY ON PHONE.
So here’s some sales copy Tanuja has to sell her desserts through email:
WORD COUNT: 782
Ok….that’s nice and all. And probably would work in some distribution channels like email. HOWEVER, what if you instead distilled that same message down to a much smaller one, like this:
-or-
-or-
Basically you can cut the message size down DRAMATICALLY to initially get people’s attention. Then once their attention is captured, you can start going into your main point.
I bet there’s a way you can effectively communicate just SOMETHING in your life today at least 50% shorter. It’ll save you and the recipient both lots of time :)
Sincerely,
Neville Noshir Medhora…..or “Nev” for short!
P.S.……If you shorten something today, share it in the comments below. Or if you have an example of something that conveys A LOT OF INFORMATION in a SHORT timeframe, post it in the comments below also!
sources sources sources sources sources
http://blog.newswhip.com/index.php/2013/12/article-length
http://buzzsumo.com/blog/long-form-content-improves-content-marketing-conclusion-7-recent-studies/
http://www.lovebitesbytanuja.com
http://www.behindthescenesofamuse.com
http://www.earmall.com
“I optate to optically discern and feel the panache of life again with closed ocular perceivers, so decided to slumber bit longer than customary.Relax this won’t hurt anyone, it will evanesce anyway.”
can you write this withing 140 words
Do you make private copywriting sells pages?
How much do you charge for an Amazon listing?
Dafna.
I hate writing and reading long copy, so I like this.
To the point, may I bring back Hemingway from the dead. He supposedly won a bet by writing the shortest short-story ever “For sale, baby shoes. Never worn.”
Has it all: mystery, sadness, and wonder.
Neville! I’ve been watching for a winner. BTW, your fly is undone.
Half your Stress by One NevBox Now
I’m sending this to my mom. I’m copy editing her sales page and she’s a fan of commas and flowery words. That’s what a Masters will do to you.
Here’s another example that might interest some of you. It’s a twitter account that publishes micro Science Fiction and Fiction stories in a tweet. That’s like making it 50% shorter to the 10th degree!
https://twitter.com/microsff
Yes, short is better. But there’s no way to forgo correct grammar just to make our point short and precise. If someone text me ‘where u’, i’ll ignore the message promptly. The use of graphic and interesting texts to send our point across is interesting, they sure give me some ideas for my own projects. Thanks :)
Oh Snap!
CGP Grey (of Youtube fame: https://www.youtube.com/user/CGPGrey ) just posted an article about how he creates the scripts for his Pithy Youtube Videos.
It’s a cool demonstration of everything you’ve talked about in the above blog post. Check it out!
http://www.cgpgrey.com/blog/iteration
Forgot to mention ==> his 2 goals in writing and re-writing his video scripts are:
– make them Clearer.
– make them Shorter.
He “gets it” :D
That’s a great example. Also, he’s pretty intense with the amount of drafts he goes through!
Perfect! Luv ur face!
Nev this was awes-
Hey, Neville,
Are you still looking for a writer/editor? If so, does the person have to live in Austin, or can they telecommute? I love Austin, but I live in West Virginia.
Obviously, you know that I can at least string some words and sentences together based on the Autoresponder Klass, but here’s a link to a Kindle book I wrote under a pen name. I’ve also taught English classes at a university.
I initially messaged you about it on facebook, but it said it went to your ‘other’ folder, and I didn’t want to ask in Klass. I thought you would definitely see it here.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Defeat-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks-ebook/dp/B00H6UB17I/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1426173732&sr=8-2&keywords=chris+haynes
This is GREAT.
Thanks using my email as an example, Neville (and for making it better) : )
Amen!
I work as PM/Tech-Lead and often I need to read tech-specs that are going on and on and on and …….
But the best story was when I was taking over a project because the other PM was leaving the company. He wrote a 15 page document that explained the first stage of the project.
Too get a deeper knowledge of the topic, I’ve worked trough the document and mad a very simple diagram (Libre Office – Draw – nothing fancy).
During the first meeting with the client, the PM has opened his long documentation and started to scroll back and forward to find all passages we were speaking about.
After 15 minutes (7 of them spend only for scrolling and searching). I’ve asked for the projector cable, connected my laptop and displayed my simple diagram.
This was structured and simple enough so that every one understood all the necessary steps. We spend the next 4 hours in discussion white out changing the picture.
We need to UNLEARN the useless school formula, that was pound in our brain
“write more to be better”!
Didn’t read
Sorry. I was a bit of an asshole but I still didn’t read it.
True dat.
I’ve been working on a landing page for a month. Can’t crack it. But your post gave me an idea that would work great.
-Enticing Pre-headline
-Sexy Headline
-Smart Subheadline
-BRIEF sentence explaining more
-“Why should you care? Here’s how you’ve missed out because you don’t have PRODUCT.”
-Then a list of benefit BULLETS.
-CTA
Bam.
Nev, my friend, you just helped me crack a month’s worth frustration. I owe you (and the other Sumos) some tacos if I ever come to Austin.
I am a salesman, and I have been in some presentations that salespeople spend more than an hour presenting, I have realized that when you speak to the point, and worry about what people really want, people are more interested and get better results. You are right Neville !
By the way I read you everyday. Once I emailed you and I said you are one of my mentors in business, I have bought so many products you have created, if you send the NEVBOX to Mexico City, you could make a Mexican guy soooooooooooooooo Happy !
Thank you for my NevBox Neville !
=)
I have seen the same with our sales people. They go off on a rant about all the technical shit about automation and ignore the fact that they are talking to accountants.
Saw a group fall asleep. The sales guy just kept on going. Laughed and then told him to stop.
One of my most effective email campaigns was 9 words.
Horror Stories in 2 Sentences demonstrate that quality is more important than length:
“You know that weird, full-body twitch you get sometimes when you’re falling asleep? If there was a camera pointed at you, and you saw what it captured at that moment… you’d never sleep again. ”
“I just saw my reflection blink.”
“The doctors told the amputee he might experience a phantom limb from time to time. Nobody prepared him for the moments though, when he felt cold fingers brush across his phantom hand.”
“The grinning face stared at me from the darkness beyond my bedroom window. I live on the 14th floor.”
“I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”
“They celebrated the first successful cryogenic freezing. He had no way of letting them know he was still conscious.”
There’s more where these came from!! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1iwylh/what_is_the_best_horror_story_you_can_come_up
Those are awesome! Thanks for sharing. Great inspiration, actually.
Sure thing! Yours about the Parachute was good too! :D
These 2 sentence stories are almost like a good headline – they pull you in and leave you wanting MOAR!!!
Here’s another subreddit for more inspiration: https://www.reddit.com/r/shortscarystories
When I speak at events & business meetings, I distill my talks into a handout. Always run out so I also show link to where to download as PDF.
Diagrams, short blubs, checklists, incomplete sentences. Key points, highlights. Called them “cheat sheets.”
For the first one, I used a PDF from an early AppSumo course you did. Was a quick template. Hack … shortcut … smartcut. Call it what you want. My own content, of course, to match my talk.
Improved the layout and design over time. Even adopted your “staggered list” suggestion from your “This book will teach you how to write better.” (Love that one!)
Always profusely thanked for handouts. Something unique these days. Brought in clients when I offerred consulting.
Have since pulled all these cheatsheets together & are a part of a paid members area.
Rebooting my business right now and am always working at copywriting. I suffer from the geek affliction of over-complicating things and talking about features. (Ack!) Would love an elusive NevBox.
A girl in my office asked if a client had paid for advertising, she said if I could answer without bells or whistles so I responded: No.
Proof: http://i.imgur.com/z2bCxJI.png?1
In a market research session we had did something called “Fit it in a Tweet”. If you can’t get the main idea across in 140 characters, try thinking about it again. It becomes more fun if you have to add a hasthag.
I started emailing my list daily about two weeks ago, but instead of sending them long posts, I’ve been telling short stories that relate back to my topic (podcast marketing & list building)…
I’ve never gotten so many (positive) responses.
(most figure they would be bugging their readers)
I agree, quality is king in the online world!
– Jeremy
Keep it Simple Silly.
Thanks for the reminder!!!
Judy
loved it.
It’s Pareto’s law meets copy:
Which 20% of the copy creates 80% of the impact?
Cheers from Mexico!
“Parachute for sale. Unopened. Small stain.”
I am going through a redesign of my website and using your Kopywriting Checklist. It’s forcing me to get rid of all the “Jesse got X degree in 2008 and Master’s of Y in 2011. He specializes in aerospace soldering techniques and boring you to death by talking about himself.”
(See how unreadable the above paragraph is?)
Now I’m focusing on the value the customer gets, and making knockout headlines that grab attention.
And NOOOOW I’m making everything shorter.
Keep it coming N-dogg!
Ei Nev,
What about your famous copy about the HoR, quick-sell-kopywriting-experiment? You had one with pictures then moved to a long long one with text and it happened to work much better. We end at the idea that short or long doesn’t matter. The important thing is that is good or not. However, as they say in Spanish: Lo bueno si breve, dos veces bueno (Good things that are short, are twice good). This wisdom probably it exists in most languages.
Great information!!
I just changed two sentences in a pitch email I sent to a potential client. Now it sounds powerful, instead of just another salesy email.
Thanks for that. I feel like I already won (We’ll really see when I call the potential client)
As for the NevBox, I hope I get it!
Been doing this for years. 90% of the time I shorten emails before sending them. Get your point across. Spit it out. Don’t waste people’s time.
Agree! I don’t read long sales letters — I go straight to the bottom.
I have neither time, nor patience to waste.
BBC – style communication ? Any time!
Back in eighth grade I had to write sentences because I had done something to aggravate the teacher. Do kids (other than Bart Simpson) have to write sentences anymore? Annnnyyy howwww the sentence was as follows…
“I Chris, had the profound audacity to be disrespectful to my pedagogical mentor in history class.”
Now with my horrible penmanship it took me three lines to get this sentence to page and three sheets of paper to complete 10 sentences.
The short version would have been…
“I was an ass in History class.”
The shortest version
“I put the ass in Klass.”
Which was more effective?
I’m pretty sure I would remember writing either of those sentences 30 years later but the act of writing the longer sentence ingrained it in my memory.
If I was just reading it I would go with putting the ass in klass.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Wish I could remember who wrote this, but here is, “Horror Story for the Cover of a Matchbook” (that follows your suggestion of brevity):
ln the dark,
Naomi mistook
a matchbook
For her contact lens.
Love this. I’m inspired to implement so thank you.
Thinking it over (while eating a pot noodle,) I konclude that to cut a message in half without losing detail requires exceptional klarity (and King size pot noodles shouldn’t have regular size flavour sachets in them.)
Hmm. After a breakup (tough subject!) some people are often so desperate to make the pain go away, they do all manner of things in attempt to get their love one back. And all manner of tactics and steps are given by others wanting to help (or profit …)
But I now see that rather than going down the many rabbit holes we find when asking “how do I get my ex back,” we can cut through it all by asking “how do I get myself back?” (!)
Far healthier. Plus the message is more precise and.. shorter.
I’m now going to see how to implement that in my business.
Good times!
The way to stand out is to be different to the rest. Like the 5 year old’s drawing of a race car for the racing game.
To be honest, I just want a free Nev box
I’m commenting so you’ll send me a box. <—– short & to the point. P.S. I live in Hicksville, Ohio on a road called Casebeer Miller … You know you want to send a box to an address that hill jack!
I did find the first sms funnier though, especially if my friend was really bugged with me being late to the movies :)
Love it!
I shortened my daily affirmation today:
“Fredo, you’re dope.”
Brevity is a boundary that forces us to be more creative.
– Batsirai
Hey Nev,
So I whipped up a quick pic to share on my social sites today about a special I’m running on getting your resume reviewed. It quickly gets to the point. It literally has 3 words in bright green (“Advance Your Career”), a picture of an attractive business woman and a bit.ly link that basically explains it all: “bit.ly/resumereviewspecial” Check it out the visual on my twitter feed (@MeetDeniseRenee).
An example of something that conveys A LOT OF INFORMATION in a SHORT time-frame:
“For sale: Baby shoes, never worn”
–Hemingway
the feels… :(
Yep!!
Billboards are great at this. There is one in my area with a photo of a woman’s backside, with her skirt half up and polka dot underwear showing. Almost 50’s pinup style. The copy is: “You can’t die from embarrassment. Get your colon checked.” I am engaged every time I see that billboard.
Love this!
I work as a first responder in my free time. I read this and figured id implement it throughout my non-business oriented day.
Usually when I get on scene, I say something like, “Hello my name is Christian, whats your name? Do I have your permission to help you today? What seems to be the problem?” Or something like that.
But in the spirit of using this new found technique, I said something along the lines of, “Sup? Im here to un-f**k your problems.”
It was fantastic, now me and my new (alive) buddy are best of friends.
Also ill definitely use this in upcoming marketing campaigns. (Love the snickers bar idea)
That line is brilliant Christian!
Thx!
The tramp stamp (tattoo right above her or his tail) … Need I say more? ;)
LoL !!!!
Thanks for reminder Nev , love you, looking forward to box
Address is
Matej delic
Primorska 15
51414 icici
Croatia
I didn’t get you wrong I’m just singing my song
It’s not a matter of long or short, but whether it engages (or entertains) the audience. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is freaking long too but people still read it because it’s entertaining.
As David Ogilvy said, “You cannot bore people into buying your product.”
[Short comment].
Luv,
MC
I loved your blog.Really looking forward to read more. Great. oqza
Hi Nev,
Great sharing! Those examples you cited really easy to digest.
I do not have any examples to share but I hope I get one your Nevbox :)
P.S I bought your kopywritingkourse checklist, affordable for me for now.
Cheers
Irene
One of my favorite examples of this is something I came across in William Zinsser’s book “On Writing Well” (One of the best books about writing IMO).
He tells the story of how the US government issued a blackout order in 1942 that was near incomprehensible:
“Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.”
Roosevelt saw it and tried to make it sensible. He said:
“Tell them that in buildings where they have to keep the work going to put something across the windows.”
No b.s: I’m sold on the NevBox! I want one!
I’m always trying to keep my content short and relevant to the brand that I’m making. I’m trying to do it on Medium, and I’ve found that C.J. Adams is pretty damn good at it. Great article Nev!
I compile safety files for my company and to make sure they approve it fast, I make it as long winded and horrible a read as possible.
Extra time put in to win some time.
I totally get it Nev.
Our autoresponder for EAP used to be this extensive 4 part marketing course that we thought would make people buy from us. (You can see my frustration with this not working properly in the comments of older posts.)
But our recent strategy is a simple 4 part auto-responder that has under 200 words in every single email. We pull in 7X more inquires and leads from our products with these emails. They simply get the point across better.
We simply ask people to reply and tell us what they need fixed in their marketing. This gives us an opening to sell them our service. It’s dirty and I never thought it would work. But it works way better than the 4 part video series!
Nice Tyler!
Well honestly a video is SUPER HARD to get people to go to because there’s so many things that need to happen if they open a video:
–Must be in a place where they have time to watch it.
–On a device where it’s possible.
–Where they can hear it.
–When they have time.
–Where they’re not disturbing other people.
….and to do that FOUR TIMES IN A ROW is hard! For email you are best describing in text.
And you can go VERY long with email so long as the info is killer. If not, then people obviously won’t pay much attention.
Thanks Tyler!
-Nev
Nev – not to get off topic (agree 100% shorter = better) but THANK YOU for the above thought! Everyone thinks video is all the rage tyese days and I hate it for each of the reasons you listed. Give me words over video any day!
No prob Jason! I love video, but it’s currently inherently harder to view than text.
Obviously it has a lot of benefits too, but being “quick and easy to view” is not one of them.
Videos are also annoying because you can’t (shouldn’t?) scan them when pooping in a public restroom.