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Change words, change the impact

Why this guy is still totally poor

Check out this old-timey looking photograph:


It’s supposed to be a picture representation of unemployment.

But honestly the reason this guy is still unemployed might be because he’s a terrible copywriter!!  

Look at his sign again.  It’s filled with ME  ME  ME  ME.

It’s all about HIM.

It’s trying to use some sob-story to get someone to hire him.  As if someone owes him employment just because he has kids.


If someone's an employer, they don’t care about this...they care about:

"What can YOU do for ME?"


Well, lemme apply some Photoshop and Kopywriting skills to this picture of Old Unemployed Uncle Joe and see if we can help him out:


AHH!!  Much better!!

Remember, next time you’re writing something, don’t sit down like Old Unemployed Uncle Joe here and talk about YOURSELF and YOUR problems and what YOU need.


"But don't people need to hear about ME a little?"

Yes. There is lots of reasons to talk about yourself. Let's take a financial advisor as an example. Look at this guy. His website says:website-about-me-bad.pngNow this almost sounds a little scammy, because we don't know anything about this guy!But what if the webpage included a few more details including some social proof like this:about-company-better.pngEven with scammy sounding copy like this, a few things about the person/company help make you think this might be more legit. So people do want to hear about you, but mainly because they want to know working with you is good.....FOR THEM.

Next time you're writing copy, focus on how you can help the other person, and you’ll get a much better response every time. 

good-bad-copy-sign signature-neville-centered.png

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You're a genius. Your approach would have landed him a job real quick. Thanks for the quick valuable lesson
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Guest Kasey Clarke


Excellent point. Well demonstrated.

Question. Did you mean Army Sargent? If so it is spelt incorrectly letting the side down just a little. Kx

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great post dude!

i really like this small "i´ll-show-you-everything-in-a-nutshell,-with-pictures" posts.

keep on rocking!

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As long as the job doesn't involve spelling :-)

Great example of getting out of the ME mindset. If, and I say if, he had a telephone then a telephone number would have been good too.

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Ahhhhh... the power of words ~ makes me smile! Great post Neville - glad I stumbled on your stuff :-)
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It is a great lesson here. Many people use a Victim Role to try to get others to help them. It is a bad habit if you really want to thrive.
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Guest Wayne Kille


Trying sooooooooooo hard to resist pointing out that the word isn't spelt sargent either......I guess I failed
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Guest Wayne Kille


Spelling mistakes improve conversion rates....didn't you say that in the 'kourse' Neville?

I have a theory for why this is...if anybody's interested.......

Spelling mistakes act like a punctuation mark on steroids.

When I'm reading some copy and I come across a spelling mistake it makes me stop to think about what the word should. Sometimes even re-read the whole paragraph to check it makes sense...From the copywriter's point of view he/she is drilling their pitch into my head, helping me to engage with what they've writen, remember it, act on it.

NOT only that, it disarms people and makes them feel good about themselves, they're the clever one, they spotted the 'mistake'.......

...Thanks again for all the super interesting stuff dude :)

Take care.

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Thank you for sharing this insight. I will no longer get annoyed when people correct the spelling mistakes of others. Instead, I can giggle at the whole thing, knowing they've been secretly engaged at a deeper level by the copywriter. It will be like an inside joke for me. Nice! :-).
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Well, he can always claim that's how it's spelled in Spanish ;-)
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Guest Tom Sharp


Plus, we don't know WHO he fought for 3 years for!!!!

It might irk some employers to find out he was an Oberleutnant in the 2nd Panzer Division....

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'writen' - saw that before your comment about finding the mitsake in your post. ;-}
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Guest Romeo Jeremiah


I agree with everyone above. Awesome, straight-to-the-point, post. I still wouldn't hire the guy though. haha
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No... it's Army Seagent... A Gentleman of the Sea. Very important position. Real high level stuff.
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Agreed! I actually fired an otherwise talented person because of his overuse of Victimization and that ME mentality. I thought it was quite annoying. One thing you should always remember: it's the employer's CHOICE to pay you. So be make that choice easier for him. Giving you money to do something is no different from giving money to buy an iPad. Sell yourself and people WILL want to buy.
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