Unfortunately, the older I am getting, the more I seem to use... Generally 5 on first and 3 on subsequent.

Normally at home:

I use 9 at first (3 x 3)

Then 7.5 for my second (2.5x3)

If it's a situation that requires liquid support, I go 9, 2 wet, then 9 again, then a 7.5.

If it's cold, I use 9-11 more (3x3 or 4x2+3) to cover the toilet seat.

If it's a public restroom without the toilet seat cover, I use 18-22 (double fold the above).

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On top of all of this, I add 5-6 sheets to the bowl to avoid the splash.

(Poseidon's Kiss)

For European toilets (where there's not a lot of water, it's usually 3-4.

The above is for quality toilet paper such as Charmin or those generic-based Charmin competitors. For the thin single-ply, estimates go drastically up. Haven't done that too often so I can't recall exact numbers.

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I hope this helps someone optimize their toilet habits without the long, laboring research I already spent on the matter.

Tell Ernst I say hey lol

Ewwwwwww . Toilet paper is so 20th century.. I use a bidet.

Now young Nev, what is this experiment you are running on us :)

I don't have a square to spare.

Japanese toilet here. Well, 1-3 just to keep things clean. But now I'm wondering about the REAL purpose behind this Q/post.

Everytime I go out I always bring with me a small bag of wet wipes because I had this incident once where I had to “do my business” in a public restroom and there was no toilet paper available.

I walked out of the restroom with one sock on. I HAD NO OTHER CHOICE!

Anyway, I prefer wet wipes than toilet paper because the moist is a great help with the cleaning and it’s a lot thicker than the regular toilet paper. I use at least 3 sheets.

...I forgot to mention, somehow, that I also pre-fold these.

...and I forgot to mention that the reason I go 9 (3x3) is because after a good, long, comforting and large-spanning wipe with adjusted friction and force based on the stickiness of the poop (you want to go just hard enough to not break the TP, of course), after that, I fold it over and get a second wipe in, as I do with the 7.5, giving me a net total of 4 wipes (sometimes 5 if I get 3 good ones out of one of those two stacks).

That gets me to 9+7.5= (16.5) total sheets vs your 6x3= (18). If you choose to give it a go, give it 5-6 runs before you decide, and let me know what you think. I'm going to go try yours out right now.

Redneck bidet.

Use the hand held shower, hang your backside over the tub, wash away.

Cue the jokes about on a roll. low or high rollers, etc.etc.

Reminds me of the funniest meme seen this week...

"When you're shitting an Anaconda and the last half inch detaches from your soul" accompanied by a pic of a female face in total ecstasy.

Hahahaha I totally feel this and believe in your math.

Evidently Neville, you have some reason for putting this blog out there...just want you to know that I read part of it and didn't finish it because it wasn't worth my time. :)

Ok, now you’re just checking to see who’ll read anything and answer any question posed.

Answer. Depends on the thickness/softness ratio of the available tissue. Enough to not be my hand, 4ish.

A crap load of squares.

I'm just here for shits and giggles!

3 for me.

I did have a good pun about toilet paper but it's tearable!

HA HO!!

I see what you did there 😏

So punny!

But you still left a comment?? Ha!

Believe it or not there's a rhyme and reason to this latest line of questions :)

Bahahhaha, I love that scene!!

I try to time my dumps so that I enjoy them right before I take a shower. I'll sit down, pull up something inspirational from Neville to read and then evacuate the waste after which I roll off about two feet of TP. Sometimes only one use does the trick, sometimes several are needed. When I'm mostly to all clean I jump in the shower where I rinse my nether regions with a blast of warm water from a handheld showerhead to complete the cleaning. If you suffer from itching in that area then I suggest using an unscented plain white TP and rinsing.

2 - 3 ft. of TP per wipe, with at least 6 wipes typically

You clearly don't know how to use the 3 clam shells...

Sylvester Stallone never taught me :-/

GOOD LORD.

Think I've identified the cause of global warming here...

:-P

So, do you just drip dry afterwards? Don't you need to dry off?

Depends. At home with double-ply, usually 5 squares. If it's #2 I'm dealing with, a follow-up with 1-2 more 4-5 square wipes to ensure all's clear down below.

Public toilets with that flimsy single-ply crappy paper? About 5-6 feet on the first pass.

Yeah I don't understand why public places have 1-ply, because then people use like THREE TIMES MORE TP.

I know the rolls are cheaper, but in the end it must cost more??

This seems like something we should investigate...

The Redneck Bidet is actually a good idea......