Krappy Kopy

Can't take credit for these

But some are classics!

Enjoy

http://mediashower.com/blog/the-worlds-10-worst-examples-of-copywriting/

Can’t take credit for these

But some are classics!

Say hello to Bob Strudel...

People absolutely love his product, but why hasn't he sold not even 1 on his website?

Well, Bob set out to discover how to make gourmet chips healthier. Oh, and he has the strangest yet most delicious flavors ever. Like what? Well...

He has about 50 flavors that you may have never heard of.

Oreo cookie, Grilled steak, or Bacon&Cheddar anyone?

Which brings me to the following:

If people love his product, why have no sales been made on his website?

Besides the fact that he uses clip art for his chip bags...

Sorry Bob, but your kopy is awful!

Nowhere does he say on his actual site that his idea was inspired by trying to make gourmet chips that were healthier.

Lastly, he also says "chip faced" however strongly believe it has the wrong connotation to it. Maybe that's just me...

But LOOK for yourself!...

I would paste it here, but I'm afraid you would fall asleep so I'll spare you the nap. However!

If you are interested, here is the link, BUT broken up for your inconvenience. ^.^

If you care to put them together, just keep in mind that it's equal to the power of Pandora's Box...

...there's no going back:

site: bonjoegourmetchips .com

Much love to the one who refers to himself as Neville Medhora,

Gonzo

P.S. I would look at the About Me section located in the "Chip Flavors" tab found near the header.

P.P.S. It turns out it was the "Chipper Blog" tab to see the About Me. Sorry for confusion <- Bad Kopy?

Hi Nev, I've got a super boring example from a......*drumroll*......tax advisor (possibly the most boring field on earth). See http://www.duijntax.com/en/about-us. It's full of corporate jargon and all about them, instead of communicating "what's in it for me" if I'm their customer. Also rather wordy with long sentences and paragraphs, with no headers for scanners. Zzz...

Here's one of my all time favorites. This is not how you do content marketing: http://www.rainponchosonline.com/blog/?p=465

miraclesbaseball.com

Imagine being a parent trying to figure this shit out.

sorry here it is with hyperlink

http://www.miraclesbaseball.com/about.htm

Finally a website that combines two simplistic ideas into one: Quantum Mechanics and Spirituality!

I especially liked the Quantum-Touch Smile!

http://www.quantumtouch.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3&Itemid=58

~ Robby

This site is awful: www.aceable.com

Someone please tear it apart with ways they could do it better, the list of flaws is endless. I count at least 8.

This is from my local Indian restaurant - Note the Christmas menu banner, somehow I don't think that's the restaurant planning for Christmas 2014, more likely it's still there from previous Christmases!

"Welcome to Spice @ halfmoon its an Indian restaurant specialising in Indian cuisine in Wolston, a village area. It opened it's doors on the 29th april 2012 where it was just a pub but now has established it self in a stunning restaurant and a wonderful pub.

It has now been refurbished so our customers can have a fresh approach to everything that is good about Indian cusine and classic pub, we aim to create a great and authentic experience within a relaxed atmosphere."

http://www.spiceathalfmoon.co.uk/

PS - It's actually a pretty good restaurant.

I was contacted about doing some marketing work for this company and was sent to this about page to learn who I was working for. Unfortunately, because of all the buzzwords and corporate-speak I couldn't actually understand what the company really did. It took a few emails back and forth before I had any idea. Needless to say I turned down working with them.

http://www.lexisnexis.com/en-us/about-us/about-us.page

P.S. - If you were a CUSTOMER and you went to this page, is there ANYTHING that helps you make a buying decision???

Is this Krappy Kopy, since it is an image? Whatever, it is totally confusing....

http://imgur.com/5HxplOr

Shady politics is the only way I wouldn't win this contest. I urge everyone to read this to brighten their day. Freakin hilarious!!!

http://simpletek.com

BE SURE TO VISIT THE SITE AND READ EVERY PAGE. IT IS VERY SHORT AND WELL WORTH THE LAUGHS!

Nev,

I woke up with this song in my head this morning. "Go, you chicken-fat, go!" It's from a tv commercial that has been on constantly lately. I have no idea what they are selling, or what chicken fat has to do with anything. The video shows people exercising, but I don't think they are selling exercise equipment or gym memberships. Obviously a million dollar ad campaign, but I still have no idea what they are selling.

DaveL

KRAPPY KOPY

This YouTube channel is about world music!

Hi, I'm Priscilla and I am into spiritual, ethnic and tribal sounds. Love me some Celtic and mystic music! I have arranged these tracks by playlists so they're easy to find.

One last note, all of my videos are created under the Creative Commons License which means they can be reused and shared so please don't be stingy and share the love!

I hope this channel serves you well.

Channel art by Vincent Lock http://goo.gl/XUk6Lz

If you want to download my music you can do it here: http://goo.gl/P3rkRD (SoundCloud)

Some of the playlists:

- Mystic Sounds

- Fire Sounds

- Celtic Music

- Tribal Sounds

- Water Sounds

- Moon - Luna

I'm getting a little bothered by vague statements - usually 2-5 word sentences - that are an obvious attempt to copy Apple. Or maybe it's just me . Can't really tell - maybe it converts well.

http://imgur.com/eiCNajL

OHHHHH so glad you asked Nev.

I've been making fun of this hilarious about us piece for years:

http://www.linkedin.com/company/2269425?goback=.fcs_FCTD_turkey_false_R_*2_*2_*2_4_*2_96_*2_*2_*2_*2_*2&trk=ncsrch_hits

I mean c'mon... WTF:

"exploiting the special skills of people with autism to provide high quality software testing, quality control and data systems operations"

WHAAAT?

Now gimme that shiny box please ;)

This is a Generic Brand Video demonstrating the bad copy & marketing approach in so many brand videos. (But it sort of works because it's actually a brand video for a stock footage company)

This is the original piece that was turned into the video above, I forgot to include it:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/this-is-a-generic-brand-video

Cover letters are always an awesome source of Krappy Kopy!

http://www.businessinsider.com/worst-cover-letters-2011-10?op=1

Hurt my eyes on this one today.

What can I say.... There is no "message" besides that he thinks he is in a gazillion art collections. However, when you read the letters, it turns out he just sends everyone and their mother his "collages"... Ah, heck, call them pictures.

Obviously, when you get a letter from the Pope, you put it on your website. Or from the King of Spain. Assuming that no-one will ever actually read them. Or gets that they are just friendly "thank you, now get the f*** away" notes.

The about-me, you ask? He took a head start and wrote his own obituary. At least that's what I think, because my head hit the any-key before I got to the end.

Enjoy: http://www.gagnonart.net

Extra super free bonus material: http://www.gagnonsart.com

(yes, two different sites)

Krappy Kopy is all around... many of the above responses look like Google results for: "gimme bad kopy so I can has FREEBIEZ!". C'mon peeople!!?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

** DO OR DO NOT! ** (there is no try)

So, I found this one online, doing one of these searches, using my magic ninja internet powers:

http://supersimplesaver.com/

Here's the thing...

[K]rappy

[K]opy

^---> doesn't **necessarily** mean BAD DESIGN...it means "mah brain gittin' all confuseded" as you read.

IMHO, this site has ALL the KK because... EVERY PAGE dances around the point without actually explaining anything (shocking hint: they do something about coupons). ALL THE KOPY is written as if you're already deep into THEIR world. But...I don't coupon, I don't know anything about this stuff... and this certainly isn't changing (or expanding) my mind.

<3

/nate (me)

Oh hai! I found it! The best kopy on that site!

"Compare weekly grocery ads in your area. Receive the best deals and coupons."

Can you find it?? (boo CTL+F cheaters!)

;)

http://101firstdateideas.com/37-first-date-ideas

This is a real Clickbank product, but I can't believe how terrible the copy is.

Listen to the first headline:

"Learn The Best Places To Take Women On The First Date That Get You Laid That Are Free Or Really Inexpensive To Do"

WTF???

It just gets worse from there, here's an example:

"The thing is unless you are constantly having one-night stands or able to bring her home the first night you meet her, then chances are (like most men), you’ll be seeing a woman on a separate occasion once you’ve met her."

or this

"But if you want to know what men who are naturals and what they do when they taken women out, then this guide is for you."

geez...