Watch as we teardown this landing page step-by-step:
This is a quick teardown of a site called YalaMarketing.
Poor guy running it is trying to sell consulting services from this, but this page is terrible at conveying WHAT THE HELL IS BEING SOLD!
Here’s what we cover in this quick teardown:
Step 1.) What is the goal of the page?
Step 2.) Does it pass The Caveman Test?
Step 3.) Get rid of all the vague and fluffy language.
Step 4.) Use testimonials that prove results.
Leave a comment if you’d like your site reviewed, and what specifically you’d want help with. Good teardowns will be shared with 15,000+ people.
Please share this with friends/colleagues who have similar websites as the one in the video.
Hi Neville!
Thanks for the empathy. I am very melancholic to look for this type of content about copy-writing. It is such a marvellous and tremendous post, thanks for sharing in public.
Wow this is is actually the most helpful site about copywriting, thank you for putting out practical teachings! And you are funny too which is a huge bonus! I would love you to tear down my site, I’m sure there is a lot to do differently. I’m in a learning process.
Thanks Szilvia, you’ve been added to the list!
Woohoo!!! Thank you!!!
Hi Neville thanks for all your time in producing these entertaining yet highly informative videos and blog posts.
I would very much appreciate if you could ‘tear down’ my website – http://www.jetvirtual.co.uk
Thanks in advance!
Daniel Gefen
http://www.JetVirtual.co.uk
It seems you just need to get in front of more businesses that can use this.
I have a feeling the people benefitting the most from your call service ARE NOT searching on Google for your site and finding you.
Start calling or searching for niches that can benefit.
Maybe present at a dentists meetup or something showing how your service would make them more money. Get the word out first!
Can you help my copy, it isn’t converting well enough. Thank you nev.
Well that was a waste of a comment :-/
Thank you so much for choosing my site, I love all your recommendations :)
Thanks for letting me be the first tear down!
Yo Nev,
You’re the king of kopy, I’m a rookie – But I’m practicing your tactics and slowly getting better!
I’m running a site that is an Appsumo/Groupon for self improvement products (ie. products, services, memberships, and events).
We’re still tweaking the copy – but our main focus right now is getting partners interested in us helping sell their stuff!
Since you were a Sumoling for a while, I know you know a lot about how they built that biz. We want to model them + have a sweet marketplace with a focus on the self improvement niche.
Take a look at the site and let me know what you think!
https://www.subsynct.com
Cheers – Matt
Lol! Matt, you GOTTA STOP USING THIS VAGUE-ASS LANGUAGE!!
For starters, it doesn’t seem you have much traffic, so basic copy changes aren’t going to make a huge difference yet.
But you need to describe stuff better. More specific.
Seems like you’re trying to do stuff all over the place. Maybe focus on ONE thing per week like AppSumo originally did. Get one kick ass tool for productivity, then promote the hell out of it for a week.
**SMACKS FACE**
Why does it seem obvious after the fact… Thanks for the tips Nev, it makes perfect sense.
I’ll take another go-round at finding our focus and figure that out first. The refresh the copy (and stop being a VAGUE PANSY).
Thanks for the feedback dude!
http://neurozone.com
Looks like it could be really really cool. But, wtf do they do & what action do they want people to take?
gave changing the copy a lazy go myself using your tool thingy.
http://screencast.com/t/nzH3CqLQ
That was a much better change! At least I now know it’s about employee productivity.
Added to the list…..I honestly have NO clue what they do! Looks very vague.
Awesome. Interesting to see that the headlines this guy used worked just as fine few years ago. The need to udpate knowledge is becoming more and more urging as technologies evolve. Our brains are wired to adapt and get used to things faster and faster. I guess I’ll come in one year and teaches you then how to copywrite because you wouldn’t have kept updated :)
Keep going dude
Ps: what is the plug you use to modify any page instantly like that ?
Thanks Patrick!
The plugin is a little Javascript that you drag&drop onto your bookmarks bar:
http://lifehacker.com/398139/edit-any-web-page-with-a-bookmarklet
Hey Nev,
I read your post about crashing networking events. It really works ! Anyway, would love if you could tear down my site, Yuppie Palace. It’s an ecommerce website in AUS, selling casual male clothing & accessories.
I’m about to start writing some sales emails, i’ve just read the Boron letters. When will your Kopykourse 2 be ready?
http://www.yuppiepalace.com.au
Thanks Jake! Do you already get sales on this site?
Yeah we do but no were near the volume that we’re after
Great teardown, Nev. Please rip my stockings, oops, I mean rip my website.
Conversion is at a miserly 0.21% at http://kipkitchen.com/freebies, would be fab if you can give some pointers on how to improve it. Thanks.
Btw, love the bookmarklet. What software/plugin do you use for the consult buttons?
Hey Arnaud! The little script-changey thingy was this:
http://lifehacker.com/398139/edit-any-web-page-with-a-bookmarklet
Also, can’t you use MailChimp to make a more attractive download button. Something really big and obvious? Your page makes it hard to tell what they’re getting or that they should even enter an Email!
Hey Neville
love your work dude! I’ve almost bought all of your courses so far and I would love it if you tore apart my website and let me know what you think, what I’ve done wrong and need to improve and what I’ve done right! Don’t hold back!
ps email automation sequence is still under construction
Thanks Skyler! Will checkout the page….although after first glance I have NO clue what the hell you sell :)
I changed the wording on the landing page since u said that, to first time here. Thank you though!
I’m not not completely sold about having the landing page but I kept repeat customers in mind so they don’t have to go through of the sales copy everytime they want to buy the product.
I know your busy but if you have time let me know what ur thoughts are on the landing and the sales copy!
Love your work Neville it would be awesome to hear your feedback again!
Skyler
Stimpax.Com
D’oh! (palm to forehead) I am adding consult buttons to my general website. TODAY.
Had removed the phone number because was getting too many calls of the type “Can I pick your brain?? I’ll buy you a coffee…” Gee whiz. My time and wisdom for a measly cup of coffee? Not.
I’m good at saying no. But these requests cost time and aggravation.
So, am slapping consult buttons on my site to ward off the time sucking vultures while making it easy to bring in some quick paying work when I see fit. That they say “sold out” when I’m not available is cool beans.
thank you thank you thank you
You’re welcome! Can you send me your before/after screenshots of your consults page, would love to see: NevMed@gmail.com
Also I might do a consult page post and show how I handle consults so that I NEVER get that “Lemme pick your brain” crap.
Please do expand on consulting stuff, from your AR training it seems you have lots of experience :)
Hey Neville, teardown my digital marketing training biz site – http://mclass.co/
Do you sell anything yet Mohit? I couldn’t find any “BUY NOW” buttons.
Hey! This video was awesome, and I can’t wait to see more episodes if you make them.
I’d love to see a teardown of a landing page for an iPhone app where the main goal is to get someone to download an app. Working on an iPhone app version of http://www.peeandseeit.com and I want to make sure I can convey value the right way to get people to download.
THANKS!
All I have to say is:
BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHHHHHAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!
LOL’d at this :)
Btw your tag line is AMAZING!
“The number one number one tracking app!”
THANKS Neville! Haha that means a lot coming from you!
I have one app in the App Store now that I wanted to make a landing page for soon if you would want to use that as an example for an app landing page… Navigate to a photo you took (like find your car in a parking lot, or your favorite waterfall in the forest again): https://itunes.apple.com/app/id939480376
But it would probably be better to do one for some actually good app that does a really crappy job with an existing landing page! I’ll let you know if I think of any.
http://www.emailonacid.com
do it like ben harper https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhKq9JvssB8
Whoa….never heard of this service Jo. NICE! You guys seem big. Looks like you know what you’re doing :)
Hah – appreciate the feedback Nev!
Actually have tried to get featured on appsumo.
Would pay you for an hour of consulting on how to submit ourselves to app sumo to have high chance of being chosen,
or willing to come to austin & buy you beer and teach you in depth about some lead gen expertise that I think you could use in a number of your businesses to generate rev.
Hey Neville,
Love your stuff. At my company we know we need to redo our website and are already thinking about how to improve (a.k.a. chop!) the copy dramatically. For a video production company we feel that our work should be at the forefront, but we still need our copy to be good. Any tearing down would be a huge help!
http://joycomultimedia.com
Thanks!
BAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! I lol’d at that intro sentence by the video. Great job at least snapping them out of the ordinary with that.
Love it :)
Thanks.
Although, that’s probably gonna go when we get our new site. I wrote that after going through your Kopywriting Kourse (loved that by the way).
The tricky part about kopywriting for a video production website is that people only care about your portfolio so the text plays a much smaller support role.
It’ll be fun to try and have personality and wit in a few sentences rather than a few paragraphs.
So a marketing guy just ripped a marketing site for not being marketing-ey enough. Shocker.
I’d like to see what you’d do with a non-wheelhouse website.
I don’t want it to be marketing-ey, I want it to be BETTER.
We spoke a while ago and I didn’t listen to your advice! Not because it wasn’t awesome, but because I didn’t understand our clients well at the time.
People know they need a book editor — they just didn’t understand what differentiates US!
Here’s hoping you’ll tear nybookeditors down — again!
Lol……yes you definitely need to figure out who your ideal client is, then go to THEM.
Rip it up dude.
Cue Don LaFontaine voice:
“His photography was good, but his website got him in trouble with the wrong people…”
TOUGH
Hmmm….interesting. Definitely needs some help :)
Hey Nev, tear me down to tears. I’ve got the Kleenex, no sweat.
Hey Dan, I actually already really like your site!
The one thing I’d put more time into on your site is some examples. Maybe say:
“Here’s just 3 examples of our work, call us for more”
-Example 1
-Example 2
-Example 3
When it comes to web development, people wanna see SOME ACTUAL WORK!
For example, I’m looking for developers now and this seems perfect….I was even thinking of maybe using you for a second….but then I saw NO PREVIOUS WORK EXAMPLES!
Add them in :)
Wow. Lightspeed response and without cutting corners either. I’m impressed ;-)
Nev, I completely understand your komment. Maybe I should have said that in approximately a week, a sister site dedicated specifically to web dev will be online, with some actual work ! The one I have shown is dedicated to custom software dev for small and medium organizations.
The intention behind this split decision was to be as concise as possible and also talk somewhat differently to different clients (you see, I have happily tried to follow the spirit of your kopy videos).
I totally welcome any additional thing you might have to say now!
Hey there, Great teardown.
We just started a few months ago a online clothing brand for eco-conscious people.
Since the beginning, I try to inclue ALL THE BEST marketing techniques, the same as you are talking about. So it would be awesome to see a teardown of our website :)
I actually have a 13% conversion rate for email subscription and 1-2% rate for orders, which I think is not so bad ^^
Have a great day
Oh wow, it seems you’re already doing pretty well with those numbers!
I think you’ve got your inbound marketing covered (making sure your website is easy to use/share/buy).
Now you might wanna consider doing some outbound marketing. This means going out where your customers hangout (vegan forums, facebook groups etc) and advertise or participate in some form there.
Great site!
Awesome stuff Nev, as always! I want to subscribe to the comments and see the name of this cool plugin as someone above said
Hahaha….seems like a popular thing people wanna see. It’s a simple little javascript you drag&drop into your bookmarks bar.
Press it when you want to change text on any website!
http://lifehacker.com/398139/edit-any-web-page-with-a-bookmarklet
Cool easy to understand and implement info.
Top dog stuff, I’m a proper novice so am pretty scared at say – I dare ha! Come take me down bro.
Oh B is for Balthazar
Oh wow….web hosting! Man, that’s a tougher cookies to crack than just simple web design. Very commodified industry at this point!
Do you dare with a spanish?
here’s my site:
http://bettyromerito.com
Please do not be friendly…
Thank you!
Hablo español…..pero un poco :)
That was awesome, Neville.
Thanks for sharing this teardown.
Btw, congratulations for your new website layout!
No problem Lucca, glad you enjoyed! I actually hope the next ones will be much better and structured.
Awesome :)
I came here now to see if I got a reply, because just I noticed something in the comments form of your new teardown episode.
This is the first time that I see the “Notify me of followup comments via e-mail”. I ALWAYS missed that. Even though I always look for a way to get notified when I comment on a blog post.
Maybe if you put it above the “Submit Comment” button you will get more engagement in the comments. What do you think? Seems like a worthy experiment for me :)
P.S. Notify box: CHECKED \o/
I always think what you say about website copy can’t be applied to be as a professional consultant!
Prove me wrong!
Cheers!
Oh you’d be very wrong! Nearly everything applies, PLUS I have tons of cool tips on how to consult better :)
Hey bro, I met you in Ft Lauderdale. I’d love to have you huff and puff and blow my site down. I just switched up my about page, and it’s been converting pretty well. Let me know what you think dawg.
Thanks Jon, great meeting you in Ft. Lauderdale!
Hey go ahead and tear it up!!
http://www.timlambros.com
Thanks Tim!
Site doesn’t even load on my iPad. -100 points.
I love this! Feel free to rip mine apart – http://magicproductiongroup.com/ – I was told today that it needs more of “an edge” – more of a point of view to separate us from other sites/companies in the same space.
Nice video work, bad presentation!
Mainly it’s just those videos they’re going to watch (since event production and video is very visual, I would just focus on your work) and trim down the site.
You’re actually one of those cases where you should just focus on all that cool content and past work, and less on the site.
Possible :)
Makes sense. Thanks so much!
What’s the tool you used to make edits on the page?
Also, great insight dude. Gonna use this for my new site.
Yo Tonnaaay, just click&drag this little javascript into your browser. Click when you wanna edit!
http://lifehacker.com/398139/edit-any-web-page-with-a-bookmarklet
please tear my site down. I am still setting up my blog as a lead gen for my yet to start saas software. http://www.quantenterprise.com thank u
Thanks Ahmed! Noted :)
Hey Neville,
Excellent tear down. I’d love for you to attack my company. Here’s the URL:
http://www.freedompodcasting.com
Last weekend we we’re laughing all the way to San Juan while you were speaking with Jordan on the Art of Charm. Great work. Thanks for the tear downs too.
With appreciation,
Ian Robinson
Hahaha, that’s awesome! Glad you liked the podcast.
Lots of done-for-you-podcasting services I’m seeing pop up. Definitely lots of room to improve on this site!
Hey Neville, love your stuff, but I often find myself forgetting to implement what I’ve learnt … so … tear me down!! I know my site can be better …
Thanks Richard! Isn’t it weird how when we see OTHER sites we can give it good advice, but when it comes to our own we overlook a lot of things?
Awesome stuff Nev! I learned some new things. What plugin were you using to edit the page live like that?
Thanks Jay!
I was using this little trick:
http://lifehacker.com/398139/edit-any-web-page-with-a-bookmarklet
YOU TARZAN ME JANE NEED HELP WITH HOMEPAGE
I’d love to be caveman tested! I will cheer for you!
http://www.thestorydifference.com
PS what is the plugin that allows you to type on the webpage? (or the illusion thereof at least)
Like this!
http://lifehacker.com/398139/edit-any-web-page-with-a-bookmarklet
This is so cool. Thank you!
Btw….yes your site is a little hard to navigate and get through!
Design or copy?
Really loved the insight on giving a bullet pointed run down of what will be accomplished on the 1 hr consult + offering to comp their consult if they decide to go with you. Brilliant. Hope to see more of these real-time tear downs in the future. Thanks Neville!
Oh yeah….that’s a common thing I do before a larger company wants to consult.
I will no longer just do free meetings. I want to see how serious they are by making them pay a small amount upfront.
Glad ya learned something!
great first tear down! I teach people how to use charisma and body language to help them get the job they want. I also do resumes as part of my program. I’m doing ok with regular clients but I want to move more towards higher end clients and selling packages instead of individual sessions. Currently I’m doing the work getting clients and I don’t think my website is helping me out. Any feedback is appreciated oh wise Kopy King!
Hey Ramon, you’re right….the site could DEFINITELY use some improvement! It also seems you’re not getting much traffic in the first place which is probably why your site isn’t “working for you” also!
Pre-Product Validation, or Bust….
I’m cutting straight to the point: we’ve sold the equivalent of $1,000’s of product on our site and have been incrementally crushing paid social….WITHOUT an actual product, or ever writing a line of code. And that’s just the start.
AND YET, I know we can do so much better: you are the Krushing King of Kopy. Please, kind sir, tear down our site and show us your ways.
(ps, how, exactly, did we validate customers buying 1-year memberships and .6 k-factors while validating a two-sided marketplace? that’s another story)
Nice Jonathan!
I think the part that people like is GET YOUR FIRST DRINK FREE AT 170+ BARS!
Not a bad opener :)
Neville, been a fan for over 5 years. Would love for you to tear down my site.
I would be honored to check it out…..and then RIP IT APART :)
Hi Neville Love your work! Instead of a tear down (even though they are massively useful), how would you feel about a build up of a site that is nearly ready to launch? I have almost finished building a brand new site (including copy) and I have used a lot of your advice. Would you be interested in looking at how I have used your information to build my site for a high-end corporate market and attacking or tweaking what I have done? Kathy
Never hurts to drop a link……but currently I the site I don’t really see any content just yet!
Hey, I’m the first one.
What your caveman voice says you about my website?
I give people websites and eCommerce sites and they give me money.
Es en Español I see!
Awesome how you pay attention to detail!!